


Fur-reaking Purr-fect

by Felanthe



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Animal Transformation, Animals, Catvengers, F/M, M/M, Stony - Freeform, Thor talks like extremely Fancy but its thor, avengers as cats, natasha and clint are best bros
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-17
Updated: 2017-07-23
Packaged: 2018-06-02 17:39:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 22,339
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6576082
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Felanthe/pseuds/Felanthe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In hindsight, they should have invested in a heavy-duty animal crate.</p><p>The couch cushions were shredded, what was left of the dining chairs was scattered across the floor, a bookshelf was knocked over, several vases had been shattered, and finally, the TV looked like it had been hit by a baseball. It hung dejectedly from the wall and pieces of the screen had fallen out where the shatter was.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Stop Antagonizing Gods, Tony

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not very proud of this, but I need to actually post my work and practice writing to get anywhere.

For Tony Stark, waking up on the ground was a frequent occurrence. Usually, it wasn’t out of the ordinary to find himself passed out in an alley, or completely naked- in fact, it was more often both than one or the other. This time, though, he felt wrong. Not quite like ‘I’ve-Been-Violated’ wrong. Tony knew that feeling well enough to know the distinction. This time it was like several layers of his skin had been peeled off, and he was wrapped in scratchy wool blankets that rubbed his skin raw and made him itchy. That was how Tony felt in his chest, like he was unexplainably frazzled and overwhelmed. On the outside he felt fine, save for a few bruises. 

‘Fucking magic’, Tony sighed. He always felt like that after an encounter with everybody’s favorite helmet-head. The sense of wrong only got more potent when he first opened his eyes.

Tony choked on his panic for a few seconds and tried to rein himself in. He was quite suddenly nearsighted- extremely nearsighted. Tony could only see for twenty feet or so before everything was just a blur of movement and gray. The gray was what truly freaked him out; everything was dull, unsaturated, and it was like he was in a whole different world. Tony could still see the green of the dumpster he was next to, and the silver cans, but the rest was strange. The bricks that made up the walls on either side of the alley were a mossy-yellow color. The more he looked around, the more he felt his heart pounding. Tony’s armor was completely disassembled and scattered around him. It was green and yellow. He tried to stand up, and promptly flopped back down.

“What the fuck?” Tony looked down at himself, and made a sound akin to a cat coughing on a hairball. Hell, maybe he was, considering the four furry limbs and new tail he was sporting. At least the arc reactor was still intact. Tony tried again, and wobbled over to his helmet, feeling weird using his hands- paws, to walk. God, he really hated his armor in green. He stuck his head and front paws in, unable to squeeze much more of himself into the small cavity. “JARVIS? Hello? Power on.” He commanded, before he realized he was meowing. No wonder JARVIS wasn’t responding. That, or the fact that the suit was in pieces, and out of power; very much a contributing factor. 

Okay, now what? How had he even ended up here, let alone as a feline? He combed through his most recent memories, trying to suppress the pounding headache he had. 

***

_Tony flew in a wide arc, barely able to hear the whine of his repulsors over the arguing on the comms._

_“Iron man, do you really think that attacking right out of the gate is-” Steve didn’t get to finish before Tony was firing, buzzing around the god as he threw blast after blast. Loki was quick, and coupled with his magical hologram abilities, Tony might as well have been shooting the Hulk with a .22._

_Tony fired at Loki again, who blinked out of existence mere seconds before the beam would have hit his chest. The god solidified once again, a foot away with one side of his mouth crooked up in an arrogant smirk._

_“Brute force will get you nowhere, Man of Iron. It would require more finesse than you could muster to subdue me, if I was here to fight at all.” He called, raising his scepter to point at the armor as it flew overhead. Tony rolled his eyes, though nobody could see it with the helmet on._

_“I hate to break it to you, but it doesn’t take as much as you think.” Tony said, landing next to Thor, who was circling Loki warily. Tony flipped up his mask and grinned over at Thor. The stupid bastard had practically delivered himself to their doorstep!_

_As if he could tell what Tony was thinking, Thor shot him a solemn glare before his attention was back on Loki. He likely didn’t want to toss his brother in jail for the next few centuries, as evil as Loki was._

_Cap, Widow, and Hawkeye finally burst out of the door leading to the roof, Bruce trailing behind them nervously. They all muted their comms as they approached, since they were close enough to hear each other just fine._

_“Tony, can you stop pissing him off? We don’t know the extent of what that scepter can do.” Cap scolded, then made a few quick hand gestures. They cautiously formed a circle around the god, who started to fidget, albeit subtly._

_“I have returned to your hideous tower-”_

_“Hey, rude! It has more class than the whole ensemble you’ve got going on. It’s a bit much, to be honest.” Tony hated this guy, with a passion. The way Loki clenched his jaw suggested that the feeling was mutual._

_“Anthony, I don’t have the patience for your snark-”_

_“My snark? If I snark, then you whine. It gets incredibly annoying.”_

_“If you had half a brain to think-”_

_“If I have half a brain, what do you have? An eighth?” Tony snarled, despite the glares from Cap and warning looks from the others. It was too easy to get Loki riled up._

_“I have had ENOUGH!” Loki growled, pulling back his hand to charge up the scepter. Tony’s heart froze and he didn’t think, didn’t even put down his face mask; he shot forward and enclosed the end between his hands. Usually the blasts were blue, and they hurt like a mother, but they didn’t always kill. This time it was glowing a bright blinding green from between his fingers, and he knew it wasn’t just the energy from the tesseract. His fingers started to tingle. Why is it always magic?, Was his last thought before the blast exploded, sending everyone sprawling with the force. Tony felt his stomach drop as he was thrown across the sky, blacking out before he hit the ground._

 ***

He gasped from the pain in his head, and had to sit and breathe for a few moments, shaking as he tried to control the pain. It eventually subsided and he sighed. Apparently, Loki had been casting a spell in addition to the scepter’s powers. He hated that asshat.

***

Tony poked his head out of the alley, ears swiveling and nose twitching as he tried to sort through the new information he was getting. He could hear everything, and smell way too much. He also had no idea where he was. “Well, you gotta start somewhere.” He muttered, taking off and heading to his right, down the sidewalk. ‘At least it’s daytime’, Tony mused to himself. He would have been reluctant to leave his armor, but he had managed to shove most of it behind the dumpster, and put his scent all over it so that he could find it later. Tony was much more comfortable after rubbing his face all over the metal, though he knew it was just some cat instinct, and wouldn’t matter anyway.

Tony’s head bobbed as he weaved between legs and avoided getting brained by briefcases and the occasional suitcase, hissing angrily when an oblivious businessman stepped on his tail. He felt overstimulated as he sped up, trying to block out the sounds and focus on the smells. He was familiar with many of the restaurants around New York, and if he could find one he recognized, he might be able to make it back to the tower with relative ease. Bolstered by his plan, Tony continued on. 

It couldn’t have been more than half an hour before he spotted his ticket home. Shawarma! The tower couldn’t be more than a few blocks away! His tail stood straight up as he flitted around feet and came to a stop in front of the shop’s window. In his excitement, he dashed towards the crosswalk, paying no mind to the light. It wasn’t until a pair of hands slipped under his ribs and yanked him up that he realized that the traffic hadn’t been in his favor. He was turned in mid-air a few times until the guy settled Tony in his arms, cooing. 

“What the fuck!” He spat, kicking his back legs uselessly. He may have been grateful for the save, but he really didn’t appreciate being cradled like a baby. He flattened his ears, growling in warning at the face looming over him. The kid got the message, and leaned back, letting Tony wriggle himself upright on the arms bracing him. 

“Chill out, cat. You don’t want to be a furry pancake, do you?” Tony had to agree with that, but it didn’t mean he wanted to be man-handled against his will. The kid looked no older than seventeen or eighteen, tall and gangly, with curly dark-brown hair and nerd glasses. He was being squeezed uncomfortably as they crossed the street, and Tony felt no remorse when he bit down on the kid’s hand. “Ow! Shit! Cut it out, you little-!” He cut himself off before he made a scene, instead gripping the cat more firmly and picking up his pace. “You’re ungrateful, you know that?” He muttered, ignoring the flailing and panicking cat as he walked farther and farther away from Tony’s saving grace. “Calm down! I’m not gonna hurt you!” They stopped, and the kid brought Tony up until they were nose-to-nose. “You’re not a stray, so don’t give me that look. You’re too well-fed and healthy to be living on the streets. I’m not sure if you’re chipped, but I’m gonna bring you home with me and make some posters to hang around, and see if anyone recognizes you. It’s not everyday you find a nice kitty like yourself.” Tony huffed, unsure whether to be insulted or just slightly irritated. The kid walked for almost twenty minutes before they seemed to reach the right part of town. Tony was tucked underneath the kid’s arm as they turned down a road, houses lining the street. They turned up one of the paths to an unassuming two story, and the kid barged inside, having apparently left it unlocked.

“Aunt May, I’m home!” He called, thundering up the steps and shutting his bedroom door behind himself.

“Alright, handsy, put me down! I won’t bite you again, just put me down.” Tony meant for it to come out as threatening, but his meows sounded more like cries. He was promptly deposited on the bed (which was unmade and smelled like dirty laundry, but Tony was glad enough to be free that he ignored it). 

“See? There. No harm, no foul.” The kid practically hopped to his desk, plopping down in the chair and lifting the screen to his laptop. “Let’s see…” He swiveled and scooted forwards in his chair, rolling Tony onto his back. The cat barely had time to register what had happened before he was released and the kid went back to his computer. “Okay, male… what breed are you?” He looked over at Tony for a few seconds before he minimized Photoshop and pulled up a chrome window, oblivious to the cat’s mortification. This guy just casually checked out my junk. Tony felt a little insulted, and very violated. He gave his chest fur a few quick licks and perched himself on the highest mound of blanket. 

“God, Chrome? Dude, that’s archaic. I almost feel bad for you.” Tony mewed, sitting up to begin licking himself clean. It was a carnal urge, and once he realized that he couldn’t really taste the grime he decided it wasn’t so bad. Being dirty made him feel itchy. 

“You’re talkative, I’ll give you that. Definitely some kind of Siamese… which is weird. I’ve never seen a Siamese cat with brown eyes. Your head is also really round...” He zoned out as he started typing, scrolling through google images in search of a similar cat. Tony took the chance to check out the room he’d be stuck in for the foreseeable future.

The desk was nice, though Tony couldn’t really see the browns very well. There was a lamp, and stacks of clear disk cases all over. Files? Why would a kid need so many files? Tony figured they were probably for school, the poor sap. He also had a bookshelf full of the classics. Tony sniffed along the bottom and could tell that the kid favored Vonnegut, though Whiteman was a close second; those volumes smelled more strongly of him than the others. He smelled like laundry detergent and fresh paper, combined with the metallic smokiness you got when you used a blowtorch. Tony trotted over to the closet and stood up on his hind legs to reach the knob. As soon as he got it open, the kid glanced around at Tony and startled out of his chair. 

“Nooo, no no, no. The closet is off limits. There’s a reason I don’t leave it open, kitty.” He muttered, scooping up the cat and shutting the door. He locked it for good measure. “There. You can go wherever else, though. This might take a few minutes.” He scratched the cat’s chest, and frowned when his fingers bumped the reactor. “What the hell?” He laid Tony- who was valiantly trying to claw his way to freedom- on the bed, and parted the fur between his front legs to get a better look. The soft blue glow highlighted his face as he inspected it while the cat gnawed on the ends of his fingers. “Damn, did…. Your owners, did they experiment on you?! That’s fucked up, man. Jesus.” He took Tony’s legs and felt up and down them, then poked at the rest of his body, as if trying to find other pieces of metal or non-biological changes. Satisfied that it was only the reactor, he sat back and scrubbed his hands down his face. “That’s… I can’t believe someone would do something like that, to a cat! Well, actually…” He trailed off, frowning at nothing in particular. Tony could feel the angry vibrating off of him, and his fur instinctually started to puff out. “Yea, I do, actually. Fuck!” 

He kicked his chair, and it smacked into the wall with a dull thwap. The kid sat down on his bed and put his head in his hands. Tony, feeling oddly guilty after the display of aggression, bumped his head into the kid’s arm. He heard a sigh. 

“Hey, kid, what the hell? I mean, yea, I would be upset too, but really. That was practically a tantrum.” He climbed up onto the jean-clad legs, and curled up as best he could in the awkward criss-cross space he had. The kid huffed out a laugh.

“Gwen would have adored you.” It came out as a hoarse whisper. Tony was taken aback- the kid had been fine (though a little mad) only seconds ago, and now he looked close to tears. The expression on his face looked so lost and broken that Tony immediately dropped any dislike he had for him. He was a cat, so logically speaking, he could purr, right? People loved it when cats purred. He squinted in concentration as he breathed, searching in his throat and chest for something that he hadn’t had as a human. 

After a few seconds he tried flexing the muscles in his throat, and was pleased to hear a deep rumbling start up in his chest. Tony was awarded a watery smile.

“You’re not half bad, you know? Considering. You have a pretty decent temperament. Should I even try to return you to your people? I refuse to send you back somewhere they…” He trailed off, picking up the cat as he flopped down on the bed, before settling Tony on his chest. He seemed to be getting himself back together after he had dried his face and changed topics. “I thought I was done with this animal-enhancement bullshit, you know. It was bad enough when I got mixed up in it. At least I could do something about it after I got my-” He shot a furtive glance at his closet door, and Tony perked up. What kinds of secrets was he hiding in there?

“What all did they do to you, kitty?” He murmured, petting down Tony’s back. It felt glorious. 

“Kid, I’m fine. You need to just, chill out. Do some yoga, meditate, whatever it is you need to do.” Tony meowed, unconsciously kneading his paws against the kid’s sternum. Why hadn’t he become a cat before now? The slow strokes across his fur were practically melting him into a fuzzy puddle. 

The kid plowed on, completely unaware that Tony was in fact a highly-functioning previously-human cat, and would actually understand what he was saying. “I’d better be careful, I guess. Are you bugged, kitty-cat?” He added in a baby-voice, scratching behind Tony’s ears, which flicked in irritation. “Well, I suppose I should think of something to call you. Hmm… Tommy?” Tony stopped kneading, giving the kid his best unimpressed glare. “Alright, alright, not Tommy. Lincoln?” Tony turned him down again, but he kept throwing out names anyways. “Jessie? Robin? How about Ishmael? That’s a really good book. Anyway… Let’s try some bands. I don’t think cats can listen to music like people can, but I don’t think you really care. Angus? Rick? Malcolm? Vivian?” Tony finally flicked his ears and sighed, settling his head on his own paws. The kid sighed in return and let his hand still on Tony’s back. “Let’s just go with Vivian. Def Leppard, huh? The name is elegant, though. Like you!” His voice got high again as he cooed, booping Tony on the nose.

“Well, Vivian, I’m Peter Parker. Nice to meet you.” It took Tony a few seconds to register the name, and he made sure to remember it. Once Tony was human again, this kid was getting a pay raise. 

***

Tony was slowly returning to consciousness, the clacking of a keyboard drifting into his ears. 

He felt horribly groggy. Had he fallen asleep in the lab? Bruce usually didn’t bother to wake him unless it was urgent. He cracked open an eye, and found himself in a bedroom, that definitely wasn’t anybody’s he knew. His heart leapt for a few moments until he remembered what had happened. ‘Ah, yes. Transformation, apprehension, and violation. Got it.’ He sat up and stretched, alerting Peter that he was up. Peter had abandoned the flier, apparently opting to do some research instead while Tony slept off the day’s excitement. 

“Hey, kitty. I can’t find anything online about recent Oscorp activity, but I guess I really didn’t expect to. They’ve been quiet since The Lizard Fiasco.” Tony looked up at him and twitched his whiskers. He remembered seeing that on the news, almost a year ago now. The Avengers had been out of state, but obviously, Spiderman had handled it. 

He hopped down off the bed and up into Peter’s lap. “Let’s get this straightened out, Pete. Steve has probably paced a rut into the livingroom floor by now, and I’m sick of sweaty workmen traipsing all over my house.” Tony reached out a paw for the keyboard, but Peter pulled it back.

“Sorry Vivian, I’m not gonna let you walk all over my stuff. I’ve already had several of these keys replaced.” He wheeled back from his desk and picked up Tony into his arms, scratching behind the cat’s ears. Damn, that was nice. What had he been doing? It probably wasn’t as important as this. He began to purr like a motorboat, and Peter chuckled. 

“You’re just a softie, aren’t you? All bark, no bite. Well, okay, maybe a bit of both. It’s gonna take awhile for the scabs on my arms to heal up.” Night had fallen while Tony was asleep, and Peter eventually deposited him on the bed before leaving his room. What the hell? He was enjoying those ear scratches! Tony laid there in annoyance until he heard the faucet running, and the sounds of Peter brushing his teeth carried down the hall. Tony suddenly came back to himself and shook his head. What was he doing? he needed to contact the rest of his team to come get him!

Tony hopped off the bed, peeking his head into the hallway to make sure Peter was still busy before he leapt up onto the desk. The laptop had been left open, thank God. He went to move the cursor and grunted in frustration when the trackpad barely registered his paw. This would take a while, and he didn’t have much time. He dragged the cursor down to the Skype icon, and started the painstaking process of typing in Pepper’s screen name. He found it at the same time as the faucet turned off, and he pecked out a message as fast as he could.

10:32 p.m.  
Thios is tonyt 

Footsteps padded down the hall towards the room, and he closed the application just in time for Peter to stroll back in. He looked curiously at the cat, before scooping him off the desk and petting his head.

“You just really want to be up there, don’t you?” He cooed, setting Tony on the bed before turning to open his closet. He felt slightly insulted by the coddling, but he was really liking the petting more than he cared to admit. Peter changed into a pair of fleece pajama pants that had little penguins all over them (Tony almost burst into laughter at the sight of them, but it hurt his throat to laugh and it just sounded like a hacking noise anyway), schootching the cat out of the way so he could clamber under the covers. “We’re getting up early tomorrow, so I suggest you go back to sleep.” Peter said, before rolling into his side and falling silent.

Tony contemplated his options. The door was shut, and locked, with something too complex for him to open as a cat (He had to hand it to the kid, he was pretty smart). He might be able to pry open the laptop, but it was possible that the light would wake up Peter. He could try to open the window- though he wasn’t sure if he really wanted to find out whether he would land on his feet or not. So he sighed and curled up around Peter’s feet, drifting off to sleep faster than he ever had as a human. 

*** 

_Earlier_

The first thing Steve registered was pain. His head was throbbing, and he felt like his skin was crawling with bugs. That was enough to make him scramble to his feet. He ignored the persistent pain in his skull as he tried to brush at his arms, only to look down and see himself covered in… fur? He staggered backwards and tripped on his uniform, which was huge, and not on his body. What the fuck? Did Loki turn him into a fucking _cat?_

“Steve? Steve!” He whipped his head around, and crouched low in an instinctual defensive posture when he spotted a cat approaching him. He was a bit larger than Steve, who flattened his ears as the strange cat came to a stop in front of him. Steve’s tail began to whip back and forth and he made a threatening ‘Mhrrrrr-r-r-r….’ sound deep in his throat. The other cat took a step back and sat down, seeming in no hurry to fight. Steve didn’t relax.

“Steve, please calm yourself.” His voice was a deep rumble, and when Steve actually pushed down the fear that was trying to choke him, he recognized the tone and the odd way he structured his sentences. 

“Thor? Is that you?” He sat up all the way and looked around. They were still on the roof of Avengers tower. “What happened? Why are we cats?” Steve looked down at himself again and felt his heart beating light and fast against his rib cage. Thor nodded solemnly. 

“Aye, Steve. Loki cast a spell upon us in his rage, which seems to have altered the forms of us all. Even Loki himself.” Steve’s vision was different now, and he had to get up and walk around to see everyone. There were four other little bodies on the ground, and satisfied that they were all uninjured, he returned to his post next to Thor. 

“Why would he do this to himself? And why haven’t they woken up yet?” Steve could feel the tip of his tail twitching, and he willed it to stay still. Thor’s was waving back and forth wildly in agitation.

“He did not inflict it upon himself with purpose. The Man of Iron interrupted the spell, causing it to rebound upon the caster himself.” Steve suddenly stood up straighter, looking around the roof again.

“That black cat is Loki, isn’t it?” He realized, squinting over at the bundle of fur that was laying on Loki’s green outfit. That meant…

“Where’s Tony? I don’t see the suit anywhere.” Thor trailed after Steve, his tail dragging along the ground. 

“Before I attempted to rouse you, I searched the roof myself. There was no sign of Anthony anywhere, nor his metal suit. He must have been thrown far afield by the blast.” Steve felt his heart jump into his throat. He was about to panic again, but just then a frightened yowl sounded from one of the other cats. 

“What the fuck?? What the fuck! Fuck!” Steve could already tell it was Clint. They padded over to the groggy cat, who was looking around with a manic look in his eyes. His gaze snapped to them once they were in view. “What’s going on? Are we cats? Oh, I bet it was magic! Fucking Loki!” Clint cut himself off and took a few shaky breaths. He seemingly composed himself, and Steve tried to calm him down. 

“We’ll figure this out, Clint. Loki is in the same boat we are, he’s bound to change us back once he wakes up.” Steve sat down, twitching his whiskers in confusion when he saw the blank look on the archer’s face, which slowly turned to a look of horror, and finally settled on irritated acceptance.

“My implants. Son of a bitch, he fried my implants.” Clint sat up and thumped the side of his head with his back foot. Steve frowned curiously.

“Clint, what are you doing? What implants?” Clint watched his face as he talked, then shook his head.

“As a human I could read lips fine. Now all I’ve got is meowing. Perfect.” He curled up into the classic cat-loaf position and stared past Steve at the sky he could probably barely see. “Why am I so nearsighted, too? Being deaf again is bad enough.” Steve blinked in understanding, and mentally combed through Clint’s files. It hadn’t said anywhere that he was deaf, but if he had implants, maybe it hadn’t seemed relevant to S.H.I.E.L.D? Either way, they would need to figure out how to communicate to him without his sense of hearing.

Steve curled up similarly next to Clint and pressed their sides together. He unconsciously began purring, though he didn’t realize it till the other cat relaxed against him.

“Thanks, Steve. Where’s Tasha? She might be able to communicate better with me, though seeing as we don’t have hands, it’ll be hard.” Clint bunted his head against Steve’s shoulder before he stood up on unsteady feet, wobbling forward a bit before he figured it out and padded over to the closest unconscious cat. Thor and Steve followed behind as they approached Natasha, who was asleep inside her combat uniform. Clint poked the lump with his paw.

“Rise and shine, sweet-cheeks. Up and at ‘em.” If Natasha had been awake, she would have punched him in the jaw for the sweet-cheeks comment. As is was, the lump shifted for a second before stilling, and then she started scrambling madly to get out of the fabric. “Tasha!” Clint lifted up the collar of her uniform to let in some light, and she was out like a shot. The three of them stood back warily as she looked around, her tail fluffed up and thrashing around. Clint was the first to speak up.

“Tasha? Are you okay?” She whipped around to look at them, and her ears flattened against her head. 

“What happened? What’s… Why?” She settled on rather lamely, and Clint looked over at Thor and Steve expectantly. Thor spoke up before Steve could

“Lady Widow, please calm yourself. Loki casted a spell upon us all, including himself. We are safe at Anthony’s tower.” His voice was a low rumble, in contrast to his lean body and large ears. Steve wasn’t an expert on cats, but Thor didn’t even seem to be a normal housecat. Natasha looked at them all warily, before slinking forwards and pressing up against Clint’s side. He started to purr, and she looked at him with amusement.

“Okay, so Loki turned us into… cats. Where are Bruce and Tony?” She looked over at Clint, but he shrugged. 

“Tasha, his magic fried my implants. I have no idea what you just said.” Her face lit up with understanding, and she nodded, looking over at Steve while her tail gently swished back and forth. He shook his head.

“Tony was thrown off the roof when the magic... exploded, and Bruce is over there.” He pointed with his nose to the door, where Bruce was still unconscious. He hadn’t strayed far from the entrance, unsure if they would need the Hulk or not. Natasha nodded, and led them over to the pile of clothing. Steve was the first one to prod him.

There was a grunt, then an inhale of breath, before the pile of clothes began shifting wildly as Bruce struggled to free himself. All four of the cats worked to untangle him and before long he was pressed against the door, fur fluffed up in fear. They all hung back warily; nobody knew if the magic had affected the Hulk too. 

After almost a minute of Bruce assessing the situation, his hackles dropped, and he relaxed a little. 

“Loki?” He asked, finally sitting down to lick the fur on his chest to hide his embarrassment. They all sat down as well as Steve nodded and explained. “Tony?” Bruce looked behind them, but the mechanic was nowhere in sight. They all shook their heads.

“We don’t know where he is, but he was definitely thrown off the roof, at least. All we can hope is that the armor protected him enough that he isn’t terribly injured.” Steve meowed. They all exchanged glances before Bruce looked back to the center of the roof. They followed his gaze to the unconscious god.

“What are we going to do about him?” They all looked at each other again, and then Natasha’s ears flicked.

“I have the perfect idea.”

*** 

It had taken them awhile to wrap Loki in his cape, but after that it was a breeze to drag the bundle to the door and carry him down the staircase. Clint was in charge of helping Thor, and didn’t look very sorry when he ‘accidentally’ bumped their burden on a few of the steps. It also helped that he couldn’t hear Thor when he was scolded.

They eventually made it back to the living room, depositing Loki in the middle of the floor. Just as they let go of the cloth, Coulson burst out of the elevator, taking a few strides towards the roof access door before he spotted the odd group of cats in the middle of the living room. He took a half step back, as confused as ever as Natasha and Clint trotted over to rub against his legs. He frowned.

“What’s going on? I didn’t know Tony had cats… Pepper’s allergic.” He stepped carefully past them, and began to race up the stairs that led to the roof. They all felt a bit put-out as they watched his heels disappear up the steps. 

“How are we going to tell him it’s us? Nothing like this has happened before, it’s not like he has a protocol for it. Morse code, maybe?” Natasha wondered aloud, and they sat in contemplative silence for a few beats until Thor suddenly jumped to his feet. 

“I know what we can do to inform Coulson of our predicament. Remain here, friends.” He raced over to the emergency staircase, and began to descend to their rooms below. Steve and Bruce looked at each other in confusion. He took a few minutes, and they finally heard him returning, the rhythmic sound of metal thumping up the stairs announcing him. When Thor stepped back into view he was dragging Mjolnir, walking backwards with his teeth gripping the cloth handle. When he came to a stop beside them, he curled his tail through the loop and shimmied underneath the hammer, balancing it on his back while his tail kept it steady. Steve was silently impressed that he could still lift it as a cat.

Coulson came tripping back down the stairs, confusion and unsettle written across his face as he carried their discarded uniforms. He looked over at them again, and understanding dawned on his face when he saw Mjolnir on Thor’s back.

“Well, I can’t say I’m not surprised. Wait…” He looked down at the bundled up cape, and his face got a bit paler. Steve had never seen him have such a reaction, and it caused a silent ripple of unease to go through the assembled cats. 

“Who’s under that? Which of you is which? Widow, report.” He said, and Natasha stepped forwards to sit in front of his feet. He called each of their names (Clint had to be shoved forwards by Steve, since he had no idea what was going on), and grimaced as he eyed the cape. “That’s Tony, isn’t it?” He sounded resigned as he set down the uniforms and crouched next to the bundle. None of them knew how to tell him that it was actually Loki, and that the cat was fine anyways. Coulson lifted up the edge and his eyebrows scrunched up. The rest of the Avengers paced around him anxiously. 

“Coulson, it isn’t Tony…” Steve muttered, coming right up to stand next to the unconscious black cat. Phil looked sad, which Steve thought was strange- he and Tony hadn’t seemed particularly close. He lifted up the cat and cradled him, pressing his ear against the little chest. He frowned again, though this time it was thoughtful.

“Heartbeat is fine… No arc reactor?” He felt the fur around Loki’s chest, and when he didn’t find anything, he looked at the cats in confusion. “Is this Tony?” They all shook their heads no, and he seemed to perk up a little at that. Steve knew that Phil wasn’t very expressive when he was on the job, so the small shift screamed ‘relief’ to the people who knew how to read him. Phil set the cat down again and stood up. “The only other person up there was Loki. I’m guessing that’s him?” They all nodded, and he whipped out his cell phone. 

“Fury, this is Agent Coulson. The Avengers have been compromised, Raven is in custody, and Iron Man is MIA. I’m going to need some backup.” The cats’ hearing was much more acute than it had ever been as humans (Steve’s hearing as well, which he assumed meant it had amplified even more, since it had been excellent thanks to the serum), so they could hear the whole conversation.

“What do you mean, ‘compromised’?” Fury didn’t sound like he was in the mood, and Phil’s eye gave a tiny twitch.

“Loki transformed them all into cats.” There was complete silence on the other end, and they could almost hear the look on Fury’s face from the heavy quiet. 

“What do you take me for, Phil? Have you gotten into Stark’s scotch?” He sounded pissed. Steve meowed, and patted at Phil’s leg with his claws sheathed. Phil sat down on the ground and let Steve clamber up into his lap, without even batting an eye as the soldier meowed into the phone. Fury spluttered and they could hear the scraping of chair legs against the ground. “Coulson, what the hell-” He started, but Steve meowed again. There was an agitated sigh, before Fury tried again. “Which one is that?”

“This is Captain Rogers, sir.” The rest of the cats formed a semicircle in front of the two, neatly wrapping their tails around their paws. Phil gave a small smile at them while Fury absorbed the information.

“Well, fuck me sideways... What do you need?” Fury asked, and JARVIS chose this moment to speak up. 

“Agent Coulson?” The AI asked, startling all of them but Clint. He was grooming his feet.

Fury said something, but Phil talked over him. “Yes, JARVIS?” 

“Shall I place an order for the necessary cat supplies?” The AI seemed to understand the situation perfectly fine, and Steve felt a small spark of pride for Tony’s ability to code. Phil cracked another smile.

“That would be wonderful.”

“Very well, sir. The shipment should arrive tomorrow morning.” Phil finished his conversation with Fury and wandered off to organize a search party for Tony, and the cats each made their way to their respective rooms. Thor remained in the living room to guard Loki, though they doubted the god could do much harm as a cat.

Boy, were they wrong.

*** 

In hindsight, they should have invested in a heavy-duty animal crate.

“Release me, you filthy mongrel!” Loki screeched, claws whirling and tail lashing as he thrashed his body in Phil’s grip. It had barely been an hour since everything had happened and the god was finally awake; and righteously pissed. Phil looked around the room, striding over to the couch, tucking Loki under an arm and getting one of the pillowcases off the couch pillows. Three of them were regular sleep pillows and Phil used one of those. He dropped Loki inside it and tied the open end, letting the bundle dangle from his fist as he observed the damage. 

Steve stepped back out of his way as he went around the room cleaning what he could. The couch cushions were shredded, what was left of the dining chairs was scattered across the floor, a bookshelf was knocked over, several vases had been shattered, and finally, the TV looked like it had been hit by a baseball. It hung dejectedly from the wall and pieces of the screen had fallen out where the shatter was.

“Damn.” Clint said, padding over and sitting down. Steve nodded, wishing he could help as Phil struggled to manage the squirming bag and tidy at the same time. The other Avengers were wandering around the room and surveying the mess. Natasha trotted out from behind the couch and joined them on the coffee table.

“Any news on Tony? It’s getting dark out. If he’s still wandering the streets, at night…” Natasha trailed off, since they didn’t need her to elaborate for them to get the picture. Steve felt a spike of anger flare up in his chest.

“We wouldn’t be in this mess if he had just waited! He had to just, antagonize, and-” 

“Steve, we can’t pin all of this on him. It was just a… tense situation.” Natasha flicked her ears, and Clint bumped their shoulders together. Steve sighed, letting his swishing tail flop to the ground. If they didn’t find Tony before something happened…

“Want to go down to the track?” Natasha asked, standing up and stretching before leading the way to the elevator. “We can run off some of this stress. I’ll race you both; we can see which of us is the superior cat.” She waggled her rump and trotted past the metal doors, leaving Steve and Clint to scramble after her. 

“Where are we going? Why do you look so ruffled?” Steve didn’t answer (Clint wouldn’t have heard anyway), instead gesturing for Clint to follow him as he led the way to the elevator. It was already descending with Natasha on board.

“I wonder how fast we can get down the stairs…” Steve turned and hurried to the emergency stair access, meowing to let JARVIS know that they wanted him to open the door. As soon as it was open, Steve was bounding down the steps, Clint shouting behind him.

“Dude, slow down, you’ll trip and break your-” Steve didn’t catch the rest of Clint’s sentence, because he overstepped and was sent tumbling down the lower half of the flight. Clint’s pawsteps pattered down to where Steve was sprawled on his side. “What did I tell you? Are you okay?” Clint leaned down until they were almost nose-to-nose, and Steve groaned, rolling away onto his stomach. He felt a bit bruised, but otherwise he was fine.

“I’m alright. Let’s go.” Clint chuffed in exasperation when Steve got up and shook himself out, but he followed nonetheless. 

*** 

“Come on, Vivian, it can’t be that bad!” Peter hissed, trying to shove Tony’s head back into the backpack without hurting him. They had gotten up early to go shopping for cat supplies, and not even five minutes in the back pack and Tony was soooo done. He’d made it as far as the store, and in Tony’s book, that in itself was enough of a win. 

Peter didn’t agree.

“Please, behave. Just because we’re in a pet store doesn’t mean-” Tony didn’t find out what it meant, because Peter cut himself off after Tony jumped to the floor and shook himself out. When Tony didn’t bolt for the door, Peter reluctantly shrugged his backpack back on, and they continued on their way. The basket Peter held already had cat food and toys in it and there were only a few more things they needed before they could leave.

“I’m not sure how long you’ll be staying with me, but we’ll get you a collar anyway. How about blue?” Peter held up a plain blue collar, and Tony huffed, swishing his tail. “No blue? Alright. How about red?” Tony leaned forward to investigate the red collar, which conveniently had gold studs all the way around. Perfect. Tony agreed, lifting his tail as he bopped the packaging with his nose.

“Alright, we can do red.” Peter picked out a matching leash and harness, and Tony barely had time to voice his displeasure at the notion of exercise before the teen was bouncing into a new isle. “Last thing- cat litter. Aunt May has some spare totes somewhere that we can use.” Peter grabbed up a random bag and led the way to the checkout counter. The cashier glanced over at Tony with mild interest before she began to scan the items.

“New cat? She looks pretty trained.” She commented, and Tony heaved an internal sigh.

“Yea, he’s pretty smart. Right, Viv?” Peter leaned down to pick Tony up, one arm under his body to support him while he grabbed the bags. 

“Have a nice day.” The cashier gave them a face that looked like she was aiming for smile but landed somewhere around a grimace. Tony did not envy the brave souls who worked retail. Not one bit.

When Peter walked in the door of the house, Aunt May was standing in the entry, waiting for them.

“Where have you been all morning? You barely even said hello yesterday. Is everything alright?” Tony peeked his head over Peter’s shoulder and she made a face. “A cat? Peter, you know I do all I can to support us, but we can’t-”

“I know, I promise I’m not keeping him. In fact, we were just out putting up fliers to see if anyone recognized him. I’ll pay for his room and board until we find his owners, please, you won’t even know he’s here.” Peter sucked in a breath while his Aunt sighed out, rubbing her face in a way that suggested she wasn’t surprised.

“If he breaks anything, or makes a mess-” She started, but Peter was already wrapping his arms around her and thanking her. Aunt May’s chin rested on his shoulder and Tony gave her a friendly pap on the cheek with a paw. She laughed and gave him a small scratch behind his ears. “He’s definitely cute.”

For the rest of the day, Peter and Tony chilled out in Peter’s room. Tony was forced to get used to wearing a collar, and Peter was forced to actually make the fliers. The picture he used was one of Tony sleeping, and Tony found himself slightly annoyed that the kid had taken pictures of him while he was asleep. One of the cons of being a cat, he supposed.

“Stop scratching at it, you’ll give yourself a rash.” Peter poked Tony in the side, and the cat rolled over, catching the offending hand in his forepaws. Peter laughed and pretended to shake Tony’s paws, like they were meeting for the first time. “Nice to meet you, Mister Cat. I’m Peter.” He cracked himself up, and Tony stared at the teen’s face, feeling a bit of regret flare up next to his growing fondness. He was starting to really like Peter- but he couldn’t stay forever. 

*** 

After their first night as cats, the team was more adjusted and ready to find their missing member. Clint especially, even though he hadn’t a clue what was going on when Natasha wasn’t tapping on him in morse code. 

“I’ve got a good feeling about today, guys. Loki is in containment, There haven’t been any explosions, and I can fit into almost every small space I’ve found so far. It couldn’t be better.” They all exchanged exasperated looks, but Clint was already bouncing off to the kitchen where Coulson and Maria were putting together five bowls of cat food. None of them were thrilled about that particular development, but it wasn’t something that could be helped.

Coulson was tapping at his phone the entire time they ate. Maria talked with them a bit; Bruce was the only one who didn’t know morse code, but Thor happily translated for him. 

“The Fantastic Four are officially on call, in case something happens while the Avengers are out of commission. And since I highly doubt any of you are going to be staying behind, I’ve gone ahead and procured the necessary supplies.” Coulson informed them, rifling through a box by the fridge and coming up with six tiny flak jackets. Steve lifted his tail in excitement while every other cat groaned.

“Jesus, do we have to wear those all the time? I refuse.” Clint jumped down, Thor right on his tail. The rest of them let themselves be strapped up. Natasha was having a hard time balancing herself, though Steve and Bruce figured it out pretty quickly.

“This is so tight, how are you two-” Natasha was cut off with a yelp as she toppled off the counter and landed heavily on a barstool. Clint started to laugh his ass off from across the room and Steve poked his head over the edge to check on her. He almost got his nose scratched for the effort, but at least she hadn’t hit the floor. Coulson and Maria wrangled Thor and Clint while Bruce helped Natasha, and Steve watched the whole thing from his perch on the fridge. 

These people were all crazy.


	2. The Retrieval of Iron Cat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a bit shorter, but after seeing all the positive feedback, I decided to post what I had written, and hopefully have a bigger chapter next week. Thank you all of the comments and kudos!!

They set out soon after everyone was ready. Coulson had a backup team of agents that were scouring New York for any energy signatures from Tony’s arc reactor, while Maria, him, and the cats worked as a unit, checking where they had projected Tony’s flight path to land him.

Steve couldn’t even count the number of strange looks they got; two government-looking agents walking down the street, lead by a cat and followed by four more, all of which were in perfect formation and step? Not very common. Steve was focused on using every sense he could to pick up a trace of Tony. It was almost after two hours of searching that he got anything.

Steve stopped mid-step, and Coulson barely avoided stepping on him. 

“Steve? Have you found something?” Maria looked up and down the road, but Steve darted into the alley, nose on the ground like a dog. The rest of the team flanked him as he made his way to a dumpster. It reeked of garbage and rotten food, but there was something underneath that, and Steve was sure it was Tony.

“I think Steve is onto something.” Maria called. They looked over to see her holding out her phone, and it was pinging softly. “I’ve got a reactor signature right next to you guys.” Steve stuck his head behind the dumpster, and was almost surprised when he hooked a paw into the helmet and yanked it out. He’d been hoping for Tony himself.

“This must be where he landed. You can see the ruts in the pavement.” Coulson ran his fingers over a gouge, checking out everything in the alley while Maria packed the suit into two duffel bags that they had brought. A few backup agents reported to them a few minutes after they were done, and they took it with them to bring back to the tower where JARVIS could analyze it and get readings about the spell. Meanwhile, the team tried to pick up his scent again- though it wasn’t much use. New York was huge, smelly, and loud- they would need to wait until they found another energy reading, or had an amazing stroke of luck before they could track down their team-mate. 

***

Steve led them all the way across New York and back before Coulson decided to call it quits. 

“I’m sorry, guys, but we aren’t getting anywhere. We need to go back to the tower and come up with a new plan; Tony is resourceful, and I’m sure he’ll be fine until we find him.” There was a great amount of grumbling and huffing, but they all turned around, and started the trek home.

Steve fell back behind Maria and Coulson, instead trotting between Thor and Natasha. They both gave him disappointed looks, and he returned them. The team was a bit demoralized after finding the armor and then absolutely nothing. Bruce and Clint were quiet (maybe because of Clint’s deafness and Bruce not knowing morse code, but either way, everyone was a bit put-out), and Steve wasn’t really sure what to say to bring up their spirits. 

Steve was still trying to pull a motivational speech out of his ass when Thor spoke first.

“I used to get annoyed by Anthony’s constant chatter, but now that it is gone, I miss it more than I miss braddlebok.” It was true for most of them, besides the fact that they really had no idea what braddlebok was. 

“What’s braddlebok?” Natasha asked, and Thor gave a heavy sigh.

“Braddlebok is my favorite Asgardian dish. Mother used to make it when Loki and I were sick.” They all sighed with differing amounts of childhood nostalgia. Steve, at least, could agree that he missed Tony more than his mother’s chicken noodle soup. 

At least, he assumed that soup was the equivalent. Who knew: Asgard was weird. 

***

As the day wore on, Tony got more and more anxious. Had Pepper seen his message? What if it was sorted as spam, and none of them were actually looking for him? By mid-afternoon he was pacing and lashing his tail, while Peter absentmindedly clicked away on his laptop. It got to the point where Tony was getting a bruise on his tail where it kept hitting things, and Peter was getting annoyed by the constant _thump thump thump_ noise. Finally, Peter shut his laptop lid with slightly more force than was necessary, and rubbed his face. 

“Let’s go on a walk. Or at least try. I know a lot of cats that like walks, so let’s hope you don’t mind it.” Tony was actually glad to get out of the small room and burn off some of his nervous energy. Peter didn’t have to fight to get him into the harness, and as soon as they set foot outside, Tony was attempting to drag Peter down the street.

“Jeez, you’re a handful. Slow down for a second!” Peter gave the leash a little tug, and Tony started going side to side to sniff the grass instead of pulling obnoxiously. “I guess we should have gone out earlier. It’s almost dinner time, we’ll have to be back in an hour.” Tony did most of the steering, leading them as directly to Avengers Tower as he could. A few people gave them strange looks, but New Yorkers were pretty used to weird things, so the majority of passers-by didn’t even look twice. Peter started to get antsy as they got into busier streets, and finally he slowed to a stop, almost directly in front of the shawarma place. They were so close!

“Pete, my man, my awkward guy, my nerdy friend- just a bit farther. Please?” Tony pulled on the leash a bit, giving a few pathetic cries and his best sad eyes. Peter sighed, rubbing a hand over his mouth. 

“Fine, we can stay out a little longer. But we need to head back soon.” Tony trilled in delight, pulling Peter as hard as he could towards the tower. Once Pete held him up to cross the street, however, he picked up on a scent. It was so familiar- but Tony couldn’t quite place it. It was like a woodpecker in the back of his brain, and it wasn’t until he spotted a suit and the back of a well-known head that he could place it.

“COULSON!” Tony all but screamed, scrambling in Peter’s grip to be let down. The poor kid was freaked out, and he clutched at Tony to keep from dropping him. At first, Coulson didn’t seem to notice, but then his head dropped down to his feet, and he turned, making eye contact with Tony. “COULSON, COME BACK!” Tony wiggled even harder, but Peter juggled him from hand to hand and refused to let him down.

“Stop squirming!” Peter hissed, just as Coulson started striding towards them. The crowd parted to reveal a bizarre group of five cats and two government agents (Tony hadn’t noticed Hill), and Peter instantly froze. 

“Sir, that cat is the property of S.H.I.E.L.D. and Stark Industries, and I’m going to have to ask where you acquired him, and how.” Peter’s body tensed- Tony could feel his arms going rigid, and he knew the kid was deciding between fight and flight. Tony was afraid that he was going to run (he had been angry about the arc reactor, and probably thought that this was the guy who had ‘experimented’ on Tony), but he remained in place, even when Coulson’s hand drifted down to rest on his gun holster. The group was only a few feet away by the time the cats started yelling. 

“Tony, thank _god_ -”  
“Where did you go?!”  
“Who the hell is that, did he kidnap-”  
“Have you been wounded at all, Anthony?”  
“Is that a _leash_?”

Leave it to Barton to ask the important questions. Tony turned back to look at Peter, and gave him a soft _pap_ on the face. Peter looked really confused and scared- Tony didn’t really blame him. Official Suit Guy, accusing him of a felony. Poor guy. Tony purred at him, papping him a few more times until he smiled again. Coulson interrupted their little heart-to-heart, exchanging a glance with Hill.

“I think you should come with us, to avoid... unwanted attention.” Coulson said, subtly motioning with his head to the few people recording the exchange on their phones. Peter looked down at Tony again, who purred and rubbed the top of his head against Pete’s chin. That seemed to make up his mind.

“Alright, but somewhere public.” He didn’t say anything else, and Coulson nodded, walking past Peter and leading them back towards the shawarma joint; if anywhere would let them in, it would be there. Coulson could always pull the ‘Avengers Business’ card, if worse came to worse. 

When they got to the door, one of the employees sweeping the sidewalk stood up and held out an arm, stopping them. Peter clutched at Tony and gave a small, hopeful smile.

“This is my PSA, and I just want to grab a quick burger. I won’t be long.” Peter gave the guy the saddest eyes Tony had ever seen, and he got waved in. 

“That was one of the most morally unsound things i’ve ever seen, and I fight cold-blooded villains on the daily.” Tony huffed. They had time to find a booth and get drinks before Coulson had convinced the guy to let the rest of them through. Tony was sitting in Peter’s lap, and happy as a clam now that the leash was off and he’d been reunited with the team. The waiter had even brought him a tiny container usually used for condiments, and filled it with water. 

Coulson shot Peter a glare as he sat down. Steve and Bruce jumped up into his lap and were just about to climb onto the table, when the waiter passed by and waved his hands at them.

“They can be in here, but they are _not_ allowed on the tables. Please keep them under control or we’ll have to ask you to leave.” Coulson assured him that there wouldn’t be any trouble, and then gave each cat a small reprimanding tap on the nose with his finger.

“So what, exactly, were you saying, about how I stole S.H.I.E.L.D. property, and-” Coulson shook his head, and Maria did a ‘meh’ hand gesture.

“You didn’t steal him- at least not directly. Actually, he was lost, so for finding him we should give you a reward.” Maria soothed, but Peter looked even more skeptical at that. 

“Why the hell should I give him to you?” He asked coldly, and everyone’s hackles instantly rose. Tony understood why Peter was so angry, but the others instantly switched from ‘friendly’ to ‘possible threat’, in a matter of moments. Steve and Bruce looked ready to jump over the table and liberate Tony from the kid any second.

“Okay, let’s calm down for a minute-” Tony began, but Peter started to pet his head and whatever he was going to say dissolved into a happy purr. 

“I don’t think you have the right to this cat, or to any of the others, for that matter.” Coulson and Maria both shifted slightly in their seats, exchanging a swift glance. Natasha and Clint jumped up into Hill’s lap while Thor wedged himself on the seat in between them. “Nobody who experiments on animals deserves to own any. Period. So I don’t know who you actually work for, or where you came from, but-”

“Peter Parker, you need to calm down, and let us explain ourselves.” Coulson said, and Peter’s face went white. Tony started to get nervous as he picked up on Pete’s anxiety, his fur fluffing out. “My name is Agent Coulson- remember me? We had a little chat after the events of last year. I think you’ll remember what I mean. You’ve come into possession of our property, and refusing to return it could have consequences- of the felony variety. This is a classified project, and it involves no animal experimentation whatsoever. If you don’t return him, we’re going to have a _big_ issue.” Peter’s face went maybe a shade paler and Tony decided to intervene.

“Okay, Coulson, stop freaking him out! He’s just doing what he thinks is right, that’s all- Pete, bud, if you could stop squeezing me so tight-” Tony wriggled a little, shimmying his way out of Peter’s death grip. He licked his new friend’s chin and then got up onto the table, padding over to Coulson and papping him on the face.

“What? Are you alright?” Tony looked him in the eye, and then shoved his paws inside his suit jacket.

“Um..?” Coulson lifted his arms off the table, and Tony finally found the pocket where his phone was stashed. “Tony, don’t you dare-” He made a grab for the cat, but he was already back in Peter’s lap, tapping away at the screen as he bypassed the password and hacked into the device. Peter watched with saucer-big eyes as Tony struggled to hit the right keys, and helpfully steadied the device so that the cat could use both paws. Coulson was staring at them and Tony could bet that he was planning a horrible scheme for revenge- he’d bet his bugatti, in fact. Peter probably wasn’t supposed to know the circumstances of the situation.

“I’m in! Petey, prepare to have your mind blown.” Tony crowed. Clint made a comment under his breath, but it was too quiet for Tony to hear.

“My… name…. Is…. Tony.” Peter read aloud, watching in amazement as Tony typed on the small device. He didn’t look like he could believe his eyes. “Holy _shit_.” 

Coulson used his wrists to press circles into his temples while Hill subtly rubbed his back.

“So now that Peter knows, we can keep him, right?” Tony asked. Natasha let out a half-snort and Steve sighed, as if he’d resigned himself to his fate. 

“So wait, are you sapient? How? Are _they_ sapient? This is so cool-” Peter paused, face slowly turning into a frown. “...Wait. I’ve been baby-talking you for two whole days, and I put you on a leash. Sorry about that...” Peter’s face was turning pink, and Tony almost laughed. He typed out, ‘No big deal’ on the phone, and Pete smiled. “Cool. So, like, are you a sapient cat, or were you a human turned into a cat, or-”

“Or- and get this- we go back to the tower so we don’t leak any. Classified. Information.” Coulson gritted out, making the whole table go quiet. 

“That’s a good idea. Pete? Get your food to go, Coulson used the Mom Voice.” The other cats laughed, and Tony’s ears went flat. “Wait, how did you do that? Laughing hurts my throat- wait, come on-” Tony jumped off the table after his team-mates, who were sticking close to Coulson’s heels.

“It’s not the same as laughing as a human. You’ve gotta…” Steve trailed off and frowned, his nose scrunched up in concentration. Tony thought it was one of the most adorable things he’s ever seen. “You know that thing cats do, when they see a bird?” Steve imitated the noise, a quiet chattering sound. Tony made it back and Steve nodded. “It’s like that. Next time, try doing that, but louder and more of a… chuff, I guess.” 

“Tony, wait up!” Peter called, and Tony turned to see him jogging out of the restaurant with a box of take-out. He caught up to them, panting, as if he’d run much farther than a few yards down the street. “So, where are we going, again? Some tower?” Coulson looked over his shoulder, then pointed at the peak of Avengers Tower, which was just slightly visible from where they were. 

Peter looked a bit awed and vaguely intimidated, but he was right on their heels the whole way back. 

He didn’t seem to realize that the cats were the actual Avengers- and Tony was anticipating the look on his face when he put two and two together.


	3. Welcome To The Club

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M SO SORRY, GUYS! After this story and onwards, I'm going to finish my work before I start posting, so that I can update consistently and without such big gaps. Because I SUCK at writing, and I can't force myself to do it. So I'm sorry again for the big gap, and I promise I'm slowly but surely getting through this. The chapters are all going to be different lengths, and I'll try to make the next one much longer.

The first thing they did was feed the cats.The fun was starting to wear off into grumpy Hangriness, which was a term they all learned from Tony. Nobody was keen on letting all the Avengers go hungry for too long- especially Thor. Coulson poured out their food into bowls while Hill took off their jackets, and Peter fidgeted anxiously next to the kitchen island. 

“Calm down, man. You’re too tense. Mi casa es su casa, or however that goes.” Tony was the first one done eating, and he jumped up onto the granite countertop to hang out with Peter. The kid was in awe; he couldn’t keep his eyes still for more than a few seconds. 

“So this is Avengers Tower? It’s so… _huge_. And _expensive._ ” Tony barked out a laugh, wrapping his tail around his feet while Natasha jumped up onto the table next to him. 

“He’s right, you know. I bet he would faint if he knew how much this kitchen cost.” Natasha chuckled at herself, but Tony had to agree. It was… a pricey building.

“Well, don’t let him see your master bathroom. That tub is the size of my pre-war kitchen.” Steve padded over to join them, where Peter was watching them gather in front of him with alarmed interest. Tony bunted Steve’s face with his head, and they both accidentally started up a purring-bunting-feedback-loop, which lasted until everyone had gathered and Clint practically smacked Tony in the eye with his tail. Steve leaned back and gave Clint a Look, but Tony shook himself out and dialed down the purring.

“Sorry. Anyways; team, this is Peter. Peter, this is team. Also known as Steve, Natasha, Clint, Thor, and Bruce.” Peter just blinked at them, but Tony kept going. “I don’t think you’ve figured it out yet- bless your young, naive soul- but we’re basically the Avengers, and-”

“Basically?” Bruce chuckled, and Tony gave a small roll of his eyes. 

“Well, in our current state? I don’t think we could avenge much more than a teensy mouse-massacre. Not exactly the most qualified group of enhanced individuals fighting on both U.S. and sovereign soil to protect humanity. Hence, _basically_ the Avengers.” Bruce twitched his tail and shook his head, but it was still fond.

“Now that introductions are over-” Steve said, while turning to look at Coulson,”- what’s the plan?” Coulson took his phone away from his ear and pressed a few buttons before sliding it across the counter for Steve to type in a blank message. He did, and Coulson sat down across from them as he did a few more things on his secondary phone.

“Well, Raven is in custody, so there aren’t any urgent matters to attend to, besides ordering better food. And new furniture for the living room.”Coulson responded. At that, Tony made a hacking sound, and Coulson’s face flashed with a brief grimace before settling back into unsettling neutrality. “Sorry, Tony. I was busy when he woke up, and I didn’t get to him before he got to the couch. It’s only cosmetic, no walls or windows or doors-”

“I get it, I get it. Hey, can someone get me my _own_ phone? I literally have people that I employ for this specific purpose.” They all heaved a collective sigh, and Steve nosed the side of his face.

“Honey, I removed that job title from the payroll and moved them to other departments the day you gave me clearance. I remember where you left it, so I’ll go get it.” Tony was trying to ignore the parting lick on the cheek and instead focus on the fact that Steve had Done Things with Tony’s company without consulting Tony first. It was trivial, and Steve wasn’t the kind of guy to do anything more than that, but it was really the principle of the thing. Steve was pretty great at so many things; it was always a struggle for Tony to find something to be irritated about. Not that he wanted to be irritated at Steve, but the balance was always skewed, since Steve seemed to find more irritating things about Tony than the other way around. He was just trying to restore an equilibrium. That’s all. 

“Anyways. Peter, let’s recap what we’ve already been over. You might want to take a seat, by the way.” Peter did, and Coulson folded his hands neatly in front of him, probably to watch the kid get increasingly uncomfortable the longer they sat and looked at each other. “So you know that these cats used to be human. And you know Tony-” Coulson bopped Tony on the head, then proceeded to do so to the other cats as he went down the line, “-and this is Bruce, Natasha, Clint, and Thor. The other cat that left is Steve.”

Before Coulson could get much farther, Peter’s face started to scrunch a bit. At first Tony thought he was incredibly uncomfortable, but the kid kept accidentally smiling, so it was obviously more of a matter of him trying to be composed and failing horrendously. Tony was about to ask when Coulson’s phone gave an angry chirp.

“Just a second, I need to take this call.” Coulson apologized, casting one last odd glance back at Peter before he left the kitchen and closed the dining room door behind himself. Maria had moved into the living room and they could just barely hear her voice murmuring through the open doorway.

Peter’s face expanded into a grin, and he nudged Tony’s paw with a finger. “Sooo. You never mentioned you had a _looooover_. You and Steve are totally dating, right?” The rest of the cats dissolved into quiet chuckling, while Tony gave a small nod. It wasn’t… _that_ obvious, right? “Nice, dude- he’s quite a _fiiiine fe-line._ ” The group of cats switched from chuckling to groaning, but Tony loved it. 

“Oh, you don’t even know. You’ve never even seen him with his shirt wet, it’s like fucking Christmas in July-” Tony was cut off by the return of Coulson, who was just in time to see Natasha bump shoulders with Tony and twitch her whiskers at him. She totally agreed.

“Sorry, where were we-” Coulson was cut off by a muffled _meow_ , and they all turned to see Steve trot back into the room holding Tony’s holo-phone in his mouth. 

“Sugarpie, you are the light of my life. I owe you a favor, or a massage-” Tony bunted Steve when he jumped back onto the counter, and they took a second to rub faces before Clint gave a loud cough. Steve dropped the phone by Tony’s feet and laid down, tail still stubbornly wrapped around his boyfriend. 

“God, you guys are always so lovey-dovey after not seeing each other for like ten hours.” Clint sighed, and Steve shot him a glare potent enough to make the cat shut his jaw with a click. 

“Welcome back, Steve. So Peter, the basics, are this; these are the Avengers. They were... transformed into cats. As you can see. You also found Tony and indirectly returned him, for which we’re all grateful for.” 

Peter was very obviously reeling from the news that the six cats laying on the counter in front of him were previously an elite team of crime-fighting superheroes, but Coulson tended to gloss over things like that, and he was already moving on. “Now i’m sure you’re wondering where you factor into this. You know too much about this to go gossiping with friends- which I trust you won’t do- so you might as well have an… insider role, if you will.” Everyone was looking at each other with a bit of apprehension, since Coulson hadn’t brought this up with them beforehand.

“Would you like to be the Avengers’ temporary handler?” The cats all balked at him, and Peter started to stutter a bit.

“Wait, you mean, like, I, uh, I would be- like you mean that I’m going to watch them? Here. Like I’m going to be here, what, cat-sitting, but for like sentient cats?” Tony snorted, but Coulson ignored him and nodded at Peter.

“Yeah, think of it as pet-sitting, but for a famous person. You’re just… taking care of Tony Stark’s cats while he’s away. This is until they’ve been transformed back, of course.”

Peter gaped a bit like a fish, and the cats took the opportunity to whisper-yell about it.

“Is he even qualified for this?? He’s barely seventeen!”

“This is _Avengers Tower_ , he could get hurt-”

“Coulson isn’t stupid-”

“I think this is a wonderful idea.”

“What the hell is going on? Why are you all yelling?!”

“Tony, what do you think?” Steve asked, which stopped their chatter for a few moments while they all zeroed in on Tony.

“I trust him.”

That started a whole new round of whispering, but by then, Peter had found his voice.

“How the hell would that work? What about my aunt! She can’t know, and I have-” 

“Kid, if you say homework-”

“-Coulson, sir, I have _homework_!”

Tony started to fake-gag, and Steve gave him a hearty thump on the back, smirking all cheeky-like when Tony gave him a half-hearted glare.

“All I really need you to do is hang out and keep me updated. I have a lot going on, and a lot to work out because of this mess. I also don’t think SHIELD has a single agent who could keep track of them all for more than five non-consecutive minutes. Plus, Tony already likes you, so you won’t get nearly as much crap as an actual agent would.”

Peter mulled it over a little more, and heaved a sigh.

“I don’t have enough gas money to drive all the way over here every day.”

“SHIELD can compensa-”

“I also don’t have a car. Or a license.”

Coulson’s fingers twitched a bit before he composed himself. “SHIELD will provide you with transportation, and anything else you need for this job.” Coulson typed something out on his phone, and no more than a few seconds later, one of the junior agents shuffled into the room from the hallway and delivered a stack of papers. Tony hissed and made to scramble off the table, but Clint grabbed his tail and held him in place.

“This paperwork isn’t for you, Stark. Peter needs to fill it out before he starts.” Coulson got up and smoothed down his jacket, the very embodiment of suave as he swept out of the room, agents trailing after him like puppies. Peter turned to Tony with a look of fear in his eyes, and Tony patted him on the arm.

“Good luck, kid. I’m going down to the lab.” Tony smacked Clint in the face to liberate his tail, and then jumped down from the table and made a break for it before someone could catch him again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave some feedback if you can, since I still think this sucks, and it really helps when you guys are encouraging about my writing! Every time i get more kudos or a new comment, i binge-write for at least an hour. It really helps boost my motivation! Not to say that you need to leave something for me to write more, or something like that. I just really love it! And I hope this chapter wasn't _too_ short. After I take my finals, I can definitely get out some longer chapters. Hang in there!


	4. Into The Wind

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All of this was written really late at night, so please let me know if you see some typos or grammatical errors!

The first thing Tony did was create an entire new interface for interacting with JARVIS. It took hours to type up the relatively mediocre code- mostly because of his paws, but also because Steve was lounging on the table next to the keyboard, and he kept _murping_ , and Tony couldn’t just _not_ groom his head a little. Just a bit. Just a really quick-

Next thing they knew, they were waking up on top of each other after a three hour nap, and Tony didn’t really regret it; he was more fond than irritated

Tony pulled himself up and sluggishly went back to the holo-keyboard Jarvis had helpfully enlarged for Tony’s paws, and yawned as he picked up where he had left off. 

“You’ve been going at that awhile. How much coding are you going to have to do?” Steve asked, lazily stroking his tongue down a leg. 

Tony sat back on his haunches and looked at the screen, shrugging a bit. He really only needed to have JARVIS scan him a few times and they were good to go.

“The code was pretty basic, and all that’s left to do is have JARVIS record the motions.” Tony explained, hopping off the table and finding a clear spot on the floor where JARVIS could get him from all angles. Steve rolled back onto his stomach and peered over the edge of the table to watch Tony. 

“Why does he need to record you?” Steve started to groom between his toes, using his front teeth to pull out stubborn pieces of gravel or- ew- gum. Tony was glad he hadn’t stepped in anything like that.

“Well I don’t have the means or time- or, well, fingers- to make all the code for verbal communication. That would take a hell of a lot longer, and this is faster either way. I’m going to have JARVIS record me doing things like paw swipes and tail wags, and when I put them in certain orders, it’ll mean something to him and he can respond. Faster than morse code, and I already have a lot of human non-verbal signs coded in, so I only have to make an addition on top of those, and re-record the ones that can’t translate.” Tony was making his way through the paw motions he had pre-planned, JARVIS giving a helpful ‘bing’ whenever he was satisfied with the scan. 

Tony kept it up for almost another hour, while Steve groomed himself and watched in amusement at Tony performing various things like hopping on his back feet or bobbing his head like a chicken. He was also learning which motions meant what, so Tony supposed that it wasn’t all for a laugh.

Steve hopped down off the table once Tony was finished, and they waited while JARVIS put the scans together with the code. 

“All done, Sir. Shall we run a test?” 

Tony meowed, which was the initial cue to JARVIS when he wanted to be scanned. He made a scooping motion towards his chest, followed by dipping his head once. After a second or two of Tony standing still JARVIS gave a ‘bing’, and Dum-E stirred from where he had been told to stay (after not-so-helpfully trying to help, and accidentally knocking Tony off the table), and beeped happily at them.

“Bring water?” Steve guessed, repeating the scoop-and-dip motions. They were separate signs, the scoop meaning ‘bring’ and the head-dip to indicate a drink. In the case of them being cats, it was water by default. 

Tony lifted his tail in success when Dum-E came rolling back with a glass of water. He didn’t end up spilling (they were both delightfully surprised) and set it down for them to drink.

“The coding runs impeccably, as it was assumed to.” JARVIS informed. “Mr. Parker also requested to be notified when you were finished working, and will be down momentarily.” 

Tony sighed and motioned for the computers to be shut down, walking back to the doors with Steve right on his heels. They stood outside the elevator doors and waited with their sides pressed together, easy and quiet. They had mastered companionable silence before either of them had even realized they liked the other, and it was common for them to be together without being on top of each other all of the time. It was something Tony loved about their relationship, though they had only been ‘official’ for a few months, and they still had things to work out- but they’d made it this far, and Tony had faith in them to persevere through the rough patches. It was a bit strange to trust himself so much when it came to relationships, but it was really Steve’s fault. His positive vibes were contagious. 

The elevator doors gave a soft ‘ping’ and slid open, revealing not only Peter, but the rest of the Avengers as well.

“We’re going to talk to Loki, and see about getting you guys turned back.” He said, absent-mindedly stroking his fingers down Natasha’s back, who was nestled in the crook of his arm. Steve and Tony exchanged a glance before they got in the elevator, where Clint was also a little weirded out, Thor was grooming his ass, and Bruce looked like he was trying not to laugh. 

It was a long ride down to the containment level, and the elevator made a brief stop at the main level- which was weird, this was the private elevator, and nobody had alerted Tony that they were visiting- 

The doors slid open and Pepper Pots made an aborted step forward, frowning at Peter and then at the cats he was escorting. She likely knew the list of people that had access to the Avenger’s quarters and the upper half of the building in general; Peter was a stranger to her.

“Um, can I help you?” She asked, half in the elevator to keep it from taking her with them, but probably also to keep it from leaving with a stranger on board. Tony meowed at her in delight, rubbing his cream and brown fur all over her black pants. Her face scrunched up in annoyance and her shoulders fell a little as she seemed to resign herself to the situation. It wasn’t anything different from what Tony usually saw from her, so he kept getting cat hair all over her slacks, if only to keep their relationship consistent. 

“Hi, uh, sorry, Miss Potts, I’m Peter. I’m cat-sitting for Tony Stark, while he’s out of town. For business. I think?” It was an uncertain ending to a lame excuse, and Pepper was growing more and more skeptical as they stared in the awkward atmosphere. “I have clearance from Coulson. Phil. Uh, Agent Phil Coulson?”

“I would need confirmation from Coulson himself, Mr. Parker. And Mr. Stark doesn’t own any cats, anyways. Where-”

“He owns seven cats, as of two days ago. Well, maybe six, I don’t really know how this actually works, they just made me sign the papers and told me not to fuck up under pretense of extreme pain and the literal obliteration of any future conquests, to quote Agent Coulson directly. I can call him, if that’s what it’ll take for you to let me leave without being castrated. Please.” Peter was subtly leaning back while Pepper was slightly leaned forward, scowling at the kid as his rambling petered out to a nervous grimace. Tony reached up on his back legs and pushed Peter’s new Starkphone up and out of his pocket, pinning it to the floor and typing in Phil’s contact info while Clint watched over his shoulder and Steve took his turn giving Pepper’s slacks a new layer of orange fur.

“Are you sure you want Pepper to find out about this? She’ll fret, and you know how much it stresses everyone out when she’s worried. It’s contagious, man-”

Tony batted him in the shoulder a bit, swiping a dismissive paw. Clint shrugged and added some gray fur to Pepper’s pants, who at this point looked like she was barely suppressing the urge to leave and immediately send her clothes to be dry cleaned.

Peter wasn’t paying much attention to Tony, and he was still stumbling through another excuse, when Coulson’s voice startled both him and Pepper, who both looked down at Tony and the cell phone he’d acquired. 

“Peter, what is it? You still have all of them, right? God, please tell me you at least still have Tony, he’s the hardest to keep in one place once he realizes he’s actively being kept there-” Tony cut Coulson off with an offended huff, and gave him a piece of his mind while Peter tried to snatch the phone back, and Pepper switched from pissed off to slightly freaked out.

“I called you as a friend, and quite frankly I’m offended at this blatant lack of _trust_! You’d think I’m a delinquent from all of this talk, geez! I’m not _stupid_ -”

Peter manhandled the phone out from under Tony without disrupting Natasha too much, which they all took a minute to stare at in amazement. Then he was explaining to Coulson what was going on, who didn’t sound very impressed.

“Sorry, sir, I didn’t mean to interrupt you, but Miss Potts has me cornered in the elevator, I need an immediate extraction, she is _scary, please, help-_ ”

“Peter, calm down, and give Pepper the phone, please.”

“You’re already on speaker, sir.”

“Phil, what do you mean, ‘lose Tony’?” Pepper asked, fully stepping into the elevator. “JARVIS, keep the doors open, please.” The A.I. did as she requested, and Peter stood in the corner while Pepper leaned into his space to see Phil’s face on the phone. 

“Miss Potts, there’s been a situation. Nobody is hurt, and everybody is accounted for, but I would prefer to debrief you in person, and privately.” 

Tony bumped his head against Pepper’s legs and purred, even though he knew she wouldn’t pick him up. Pepper was allergic to cats, and it was the reason Tony had never gotten one. Maybe Steve would want a pet?

“Phil, with all due respect, I can handle most of anything Tony can dish out, so I really don’t think I’ll be floored. Tell me what happened. JARVIS, you can close the doors.” Pepper cocked her hips and folded her arms, gaze switching between Peter and the phone. She wasn’t pleased, but she also didn’t seem very surprised. 

“Alright. The Avengers had a run-in with Loki, and he transformed them all into cats.” Coulson went right for the meat of it, without beating around the bush like SHIELD tended to do. Pepper stood there for a second and blinked at the phone. She looked down at the cats gathered around Peter’s feet, and suddenly her face went from blank to horrified.

“Oh my god, all of you guys?” She put a fist against her mouth in thought, and then stooped to pick up Tony, who purred like a motorboat when she started to scratch his chest, fingers skating around the reactor. Her eyes watered a little bit and her nose was starting to turn pink but she didn’t seem to mind.

“We were just heading down to interrogate Loki, if you wanted to come.” Peter asked, a little shy as he hid behind the phone, with Coulson still on the line.

“No, I have a lot of work to get done. Tony won’t be able to go to any meetings like this. He can’t even do phone conferences, I’ll have to make up a cover story and reschedule everything- dammit, Tony, the Board of Investors are going to get suspicious if I keep delaying. Please sort this out as soon as you can, Phil?” She asked, giving Tony a quick kiss on the top of his fuzzy head before she handed him to Peter, whose only available arm space was on top of Natasha. She didn’t seem to care, so Tony lounged across her back, and started to groom the fur behind her ears, where there was dirt matted in little streaked clumps. A purr started up in her chest and Tony was internally crowing over his victory.

“We’re working around the clock to sort this out. Getting the Avengers back into commission is our top priority right now, so hopefully they’ll be back to normal relatively soon.” Coulson assured her, before they said their goodbyes and Peter hung up. There was a brief silence before JARVIS decided to move the elevator, taking them down to the holding level. Everyone but Pepper got off, and she gave them a short nod before the doors slid shut and she was lifted back up to the private quarters. Peter’s phone had been pocketed and he had Tony and Natasha cradled with both arms as they made their way down the hallway.

“So what’s the plan, guys? Are we all going to make sad eyes at him until he relents? Because I haven’t graduated from Torture University yet, so I couldn’t help you there.” Peter joked. Tony could tell he was nervous about confronting Loki, the being that could cause so much devastation in mere hours.

“Brother! We have come to ask that you return us to our normal forms!” Thor called, pulling ahead of the group as they turned the corner. Loki was curled up in a small black ball of fur on the other side of the cell.

“Wait. I believe there to be an illusion here.” Thor said, lifting his tail to keep the rest of the cats from walking any farther. “Loki, stop your tricks!” 

The shout seemed to trigger something, because the black cat flickered out of existence, and a junior SHIELD agent materialized, sprawled out and unconscious a few feet from the door. Loki was nowhere to be seen.

“Shit!” Steve spat, pushing past Thor to jump and slap his paw against the door release. It opened with a quiet hiss, and they all pushed into the room. Peter let Tony and Natasha jump down from his arms and he went to check on the agent, letting the cats search the room for any sign of Loki.

Tony did a circuit and didn’t see anything amiss, so he padded over to fall into step with Steve, nosing his ear for a brief moment of comfort.

“That’s a dollar in the swear jar, honey pie.” Tony snickered as Steve half-heartedly smacked his shoulder with a paw.

“What do we do?” Peter called, having sat down next to the agent. He was petting Bruce with one hand while he nervously fidgeted at the hem of his shirt with the other. Tony and Steve trotted over to meet them and Tony immediately went in for the phone, but Peter saw what he was doing and got to it first. “I’m calling Coulson this time.”

“Fine, whatever. Be my guest.” Tony sat down while Steve went to sniff at the sleeping agent and double-check his vitals.

“Hello? Peter, honestly, I have paperwork to-” Coulson was on speaker again, and Peter went straight to the point.

“Loki is gone.” There was a long few seconds of silence on the other end, and Tony wasn’t sure if it was because Coulson was trying to keep his cool, or if he had covered the mouthpiece with a hand and shot off a string of swears without them hearing. After a few moments he cleared his throat and Peter winced.

“Agent Monroe is supposed to be on guard-”

“He’s here, but he’s unconscious. Loki had put some kind of illusion over the containment unit, because when we first got here it looked like he was still in here. After Thor realized it was a trick it kind of flickered, and then he was gone, and Agent Monroe was laying here-”

“Alright, alright, don’t panic. He can’t have gone far. I’m mobilizing a team of operatives who will be there shortly, so please give them some room to work. Once I’m done with my meeting I’ll be right over to help, okay? I’ve got to go.” Coulson hung up without saying goodbye, and they all sat there for a few seconds, angry and unable to do anything about it.

“Fuck.” Clint said, flopping down over Peter’s lap.

“Swear jar!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, sorry it's been so long. I have to be honest with you guys- this was originally written as practice, and I posted it on a whim, so nothing is pre-planned. The story is made mostly as it's typed (another reason I suck at updating, since the writing is sometimes slow going). So bear with me! Feel free to leave comments and kudos if you liked it, that really helps me to stay motivated, and reassures that this isn't a total crapshoot, lol. So sorry for the gap and I hope you stick around for the next chapter! :)


	5. She's Beauty, She's Grace, She Punched Loki in the Face

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm soooo sorry for taking so long to continue this. I've tried really hard not to be one of those writers, but alas, it happened. Either way, I saw a post about viewer engagement on Tumblr and it made me remember how encouraging you guys are, no matter how critical I am of my own work. Just reading through your comments made me so happy and inspired again that I'm determined to keep going! So consider me back on the wagon, and I'm going to do my best to upload semi-regularly. I'll be gone for a week in late June but that should be the only hiccup, if it even causes one. But anyways, I'm done rambling, enjoy the chapter!

Monroe woke up a few minutes after Peter hung up with Coulson, and to say he was not pleased was an understatement.

He shooed them all out of the room and starting making some phone calls as they reluctantly wandered back down the hall, unsure of what to do.

“What now? There’s not much we can do like this.” Bruce sighed, nearly falling over when Clint bumped their shoulders together.

“Why all the long faces? We’ll catch him, we always do.” Clint said, bunting his head against Natasha’s shoulder and letting her groom his ears. Thor heaved a sigh and shook his head while Tony and Steve exchanged a put-out look.

“My brother can be crafty when he so desires. His magic is weak as a feline, but as soon as he is restored to his rightful form, there is no telling what he will do. If we are lucky, he will leave us here as we are and return to whence he came. If we are not…” Thor trailed off and let them all get the broad picture, most of which was being agonizingly and brutally shanked by the god of mischief. 

“Unpleasant.” Tony griped, absently rubbing his tail against Steve’s. Bruce huffed in agreement.

“You guys seem pretty down in the dumps. I’m sure Coulson will get him back, he seems qualified enough for that sort of thing.” Peter chirped, seeming mostly unphased and chipper. Tony wasn’t sure why, and he was distracted as the doors pinged and they were released back into the Avengers’ commons floor. The cats dispersed and Peter’s face went back to being slightly anxious as he looked to be internally regretting his decision to sign the forms Coulson gave him.

Tony was about to _murp_ and get Peter’s attention, but the elevator shut with Tony still on it and continued up to the lab floor, JARVIS having assumed that Tony wanted to continue ascending.

Oh well. He had work to do, anyways.

***

“I’m bored out of my skull.” Clint whined, jumping up onto one of the sofas and dramatically flopping himself down in despair. Peter momentarily looked like he was going to take the collapsing cat seriously and check his health, but he relaxed a little when the other cats huffed and went back to what they were doing. Tony hadn’t come with them to the commons so he was in unfamiliar territory- literally. He’d never been there before, and he’d never truly met or gotten to know these people- well, cats- before. Bruce was happy to curl up in his lap and get a nice ear scratch but the rest? They all gave him a wide berth and seemed to prefer entertaining themselves to interacting with him. Which was fine. 

“Do any of you guys want to watch a movie? You have movies, right?” Peter asked uncertainly, shrinking into himself a fraction when he was met with silence. JARVIS decided to take pity on the kid and spoke up.

“We do indeed, Mister Parker. What would you like to watch?” The brand-new TV came to life and a mile-long list of films started scrolling by. A few of the cats perked up but Steve and Thor remained broody, the former up on a bookshelf and the latter moping underneath a chair. 

“Oooh, I’ve got this one.” Natasha called, jumping up onto the couch and fishing the remote out from between the cushions. After a moment of struggling she started typing out a title and Peter made a tiny groaning noise when he realized what she was aiming for.

“Aristocats? I guess it’s appropriate, considering.” Peter said, plucking the remote out from underneath her and finishing the search. Bruce watched with wary eyes as Natasha huffed, slightly offended at Peter’s forwardness. She seemingly decided to give him a pass and she hopped from the sofa onto her chair and curled up on her blanket. Bruce stayed put as the opening credits started and watched with amusement as the other cats crawled out of the woodwork to settle in various places around Peter on the sofa. 

It was comfortable- that is, until the building shook, and it wasn’t. 

***

Tony was halfway through a righteous pity-party when his skin started to feel prickly. His fur stood up and he felt like he was being watched, but an inquiry to JARVIS and a scan of the room showed no signs of anyone else. Thoroughly unsettled, Tony ditched the half-assed attempt at a nap and decided to return to the commons area. At least, that was the plan.

Until there was a resounding _boom_ throughout the lab, and he was nearly crushed by a pair of squabbling cats who materialized in mid air above him.

“JARVIS, call Agent!” Tony yelled, too busy scrambling away from the fight to do the proper motions for the command.

“Anthony-” One of the cats huffed, momentarily cutting off as the air was knocked out of him. “-for the love of Asgard, get. This. Hack. Off. Me!” Loki growled in between blows, scratching and kicking for all he was worth as he got his ass handed to him by a heftier tabby cat of unknown origin. Tony almost laughed out loud, sitting down and watching the scuffle with amusement. 

“Why the hell would I help you?” Tony asked, silently cheering the other cat on. Loki was flagging already, ending up on his back as the other cat used its hind claws to tear at his stomach. Tony felt a twinge of pity, but he tried to swallow it down and ignore it. 

Sure, Loki was a bad guy- he caused the deaths of millions. He probably deserved everything he got. So why was Tony feeling guilty about watching him get ripped apart?

The internal war was over when Loki got a particularly nasty bite to the back of his neck and he caterwauled loud enough for Dum-E to wake from where he was charging. _Might as well be a good role model in front of the kids._

Tony jumped forwards and tore the other cat from Loki’s back, flinging it into the leg of one of the tables. 

“Do not get involved in matters that do not concern you.” She hissed, fur puffing up as she got ready to finish her work with Loki. Tony darted over to the exhausted and bleeding villain, any trace of uncertainty gone as he stood over one of their worst enemies, this time to protect instead of maim. 

“This does concern me- you’re in my house. Get out.” Tony growled, tensed and ready to take the hit he knew was coming. The stranger’s tail whipped back and forth in anger and she flattened her ears with a hiss.

“You were given fair warning.” Was all she said before she was on him, bowling Tony over and slamming them against another table leg. Tony clawed and bit with all he was worth, but this was obviously not an ordinary cat. She had exceptional strength, tossing him across the space like she was playing with a mouse. She streaked towards him and Tony had the sudden epiphany that he was in way over his head, unable to do anything as she jumped on him and dug her claws into his stomach. Tony kicked out with his back legs as hard as he could, sending her flying a few feet. Just enough for him to get his bearings. Loki was still lying in a heap in the middle of the room and Tony had just inadvertently thrown their aggressor right back to where she wanted to be. 

She obviously cared more about killing Loki than fending off Tony, and made to finish the trickster off before he could scramble up and leap back into the fray. He did just that, once again flipping them and sending her skidding across the room. Tony crouched over Loki and hissed in defiance.

“Is that all you’ve got?” He huffed, tail lashing as she calculated her next move. She settled on another full-frontal attack and she descended upon Tony with renewed vigor, adrenaline spiking his heart rate and making his ears rush with the sound of blood.

She made it to him in a few seconds and slammed into his side hard enough to make Tony’s claws grate across the ground with a fork-meet-plate type of sound. He whipped them around to put himself between her and Loki as he clawed at her face, moving to dodge a swipe that never actually made contact thanks to a giant rushing wall of solid orange fur. Tony fell back on his side at the sudden loss of contact, watching in confused bewilderment as Steve and Thor proceeded to subdue her in record time. 

“Tony?” Peter called, suddenly looming over him and scooping him right off the ground. Tony’s heart jumped with leftover adrenaline and he made a surprised screeching noise, flailing until Peter restrained him a bit. “Calm down, you’re alright! Relax!” Peter said, scratching at the back of Tony’s head while he watched the end of the fight and Tony waited for his heart rate to decrease. The rest of the group were all clustered around Peter’s feet, obviously itching to get involved but staying back since they all knew that Thor and Steve could handle it themselves. Tony watched Clint turn and make his way over to Loki and once again Tony felt a bit of panic, wriggling around and trying to free himself.

“Clint, leave him alone! Natasha, can you just-” Tony called, flopping lamely to the floor and limping over to make sure Clint didn’t hurt the unconscious god.

“Why is your tail twisted in such a knot? Did you think I was gonna finish him off? I was just making sure he’s still alive. I’m not going to hurt him when he’s unconscious, that just takes all the fun out of things.” Clint scoffed, gently rolling the cat over and checking to make sure he was alright. Tony felt suddenly adrift, not sure what to do. Of course Clint wouldn’t do that.

He laid down on his side and started to lick at the wounds on his stomach, watching Coulson and a few agents storm into the room as they tried to figure out what had happened. Coulson directed his agents to containing the now-unconscious mystery cat while he checked on Loki and got out his phone to make a call.

“Are you okay?” Steve asked, his voice right behind Tony’s head. Tony let out an involuntary murrp and laid fully on his back, sighing out all his remaining energy and finally relaxing a bit. Steve sat down and took over the grooming, occasionally spitting out tufts of cream fur that had been torn loose in the commotion.

“What happened here, Tony?” Bruce asked, coming up on his other side and looking him up and down for other wounds. The Avengers (save for Thor, who was sitting with Coulson’s team) were all gathered in a loose circle around Tony, so he figured he could give them a quick debrief of sorts.

“Loki-kitty antagonized the wrong cat, apparently. I was sitting here, minding my own business-” Tony rolled over and pointed at the table he had been laying on, “-when they both appeared out of thin air, fighting to the death. She kept telling me not to ‘get involved in something that does not concern me’, but that’s all the information I have.” They all looked at one another in uncertainty and Thor reappeared, humming in thought.

“There are a number of creatures I know of that could perhaps be her.” He announced, the end of his tail flicking back and forth in irritation. Natasha paused in her translation for Clint to look at Thor with a calculating glance. 

“You don’t know her?” She asked. Thor shook his head with an air of disappointment.

“We all barely recognized one another after Loki cast his spell, and there is no way for me to be certain of her without seeing her normal form. We must wait until they wake up.” Thor said, standing up and padding off after Coulson as they took Loki back to the containment floor.

“Well this sucks.” Tony grumbled, remaining on the cool metal ground and turning himself over to face Steve. “Are you okay?” He asked, listening to the rest of the group walk away as he checked Steve from nose to tail for scratches. There was a small one on his chest and before Steve could protest, Tony rolled him onto his back and planted himself firmly on top so he could clean it.

“I’m fine Tony, really. I’m actually more worried about you-”

“Hush now, snookums. I haven’t got more than a scratch.” Tony insisted, opening his mouth to say something dramatic about being heroically saved when gloved hands suddenly wrapped around his middle and jerked him up, unceremoniously stuffing him into a carrier and shoving Steve in right behind him.

“What gives?” Steve shouted, tail lashing in anger for a moment before it smacked Tony in the face. “Sorry.” 

“I hate being small. SHIELD medical thinks they can push us around now, like a couple of _pussies!”_ Tony shouted, aiming it vaguely at the logo emblazoned uniform he could see through the slits in the carrier.

Steve let out an offended gasp, batting Tony playfully on the chest. “Language!”

“I’m appalled, Steve. I can’t believe you’d think I’d sink to such lows. Pussy is another word for cat and nothing more.” Tony pretended to look serious, but as soon as Steve cracked up laughing his own composure broke and they both spent the rest of the walk to medical in a fit of giggles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for sticking around <3 please feel free to kudos, and any comments can literally make my day! Hope you're liking it :)


	6. They're On A Mission

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm trying to make these chapters longer, but I've been a bit busy recently, and I can barely crank out a few pages per week. I hope you guys aren't terribly bothered!

SHIELD medical was, as always, a chore. They’d apparently hired a vet tech onto the team after The Incident, and he made sure to give them both a thorough check-up while they were there. Tony ended up with one of his back legs shaved for stitches, and Steve nearly rolled off the table laughing when he’d seen the final result.

“Oh-hoh, oh my god- imagine- oh my god, what if they’d shaved your whole butt? YOU WOULDN’T HAVE ANY PANTS!” He was saved from kissing the floor by the vet, who slid him back to the middle of the exam table. Tony tried pretty hard to be angry, but he knew that those weird cat videos were Steve’s favorite and he didn’t mean any malice by it. 

Tony was still pissed that they’d shaved him, though. He plotted his revenge the entire duration of Steve’s check up and all the way back to the main floor until he was distracted by the smell that greeted them.

“That smells awesome, what is it?” Tony asked, hopping out of the carrier and limping down the hallway to the kitchen. Steve padded behind him and his tail curled up when they turned the corner to see Pepper standing at the kitchen island. She was chatting with Peter and mixing something in a large bowl.

“Pepper!” Tony called, immediately darting forwards to weave himself around her legs. Steve did the same, and she stumbled a bit at the force of their excitement. It was nearly dinnertime, and Tony realized Steve and him had missed dinner the previous night, having fallen asleep while Tony was coding. It smelled like cheese and Tony really hoped she was making some kind of pasta.

“Geez, guys, calm down.” Pepper said fondly, setting down the bowl and wiping her hands on her jeans so she could bend down and pet them. Tony noticed that her nose wasn’t red, and he blinked in confusion. Wasn’t she allergic?

“I felt bad that all you can eat is cat food, so I thought that while I was taking a break, I’d make something a bit more interesting for you.” Pepper explained, straightening up and dumping the contents of her bowl onto the counter. Tony and Steve hopped up onto a barstool and watched as she started to knead what looked like dough. "I also took some medicine to keep my eyes from swelling shut, and it seems to be doing wonders." 

“We tried talking to that new cat.” Peter added around a mouthful of food, not looking up from where he was making notes and munching down on some bagel bites. “I guess she didn’t say anything, but it doesn’t hurt to keep trying.” He said, this time through what had to be at least two bagel bites and possibly a third. Tony wrinkled his nose and redirected his attention to Pepper, who was much more pleasant to hold a conversation with.

The dough was cut into little dinosaur shapes (courtesy of one of Clint’s cookie cutter sets) and put in the oven to bake while Pepper set out some food for Tony and Steve.

“I hate eating cat food.” Tony muttered, Steve humming in acknowledgement as he chowed down.

“You’ve obviously never had to live off of rations.” 

Tony had barely finished his food when Peter’s chair suddenly screeched against the tiled floor. They both hissed and looked over at him in time to see him vanish into the hallway, footsteps echoing for a few moments before it was quiet again. Pepper looked after him with an incredulous frown on her face.

“I wonder what’s gotten into him.” She muttered, distracted as the oven timer reminded her not to burn her cookies.

*** 

Tony was a bit nervous about Peter, so he paced around the living room for a while, much to the annoyance of the rest of the team.

“Can’t you sit still for ten seconds?” Natasha growled, pawing at the top of Tony’s head as he passed underneath her spot on the couch.

“I have a bad feeling, I don’t know. It feels like something is wrong.” He hissed, tail swishing back and forth with uneasiness. Steve was sitting next to Natasha on the couch and he shrugged when she made eye contact with him. Tony pretended not to see it and instead jumped onto the coffee table, pulling the remote towards himself and painstakingly putting on the local news. 

What greeted them was exactly the opposite of what Tony wanted to see.

The camera was shaking rather ridiculously as the reporter and cameraman fled the street they had been standing on, and when it turned back all the Avengers let out sounds of shocked dismay- there was a field of craters in the road ahead of the news crew, and a few of the houses behind the reporter were on fire.

“It appears the fighting is heading south, closer to the heart of Queens. It started with an explosion about a half hour ago, and has continued to-” Tony tuned her out as he watched the destruction, now from the angle of a helicopter. It was a swarming mass of glinting metal, like some kind of giant snake made of millions of small, interconnected moving parts. His anxiety lessened a little when he spotted a blue-and-red form trying to wrangle it, spinning webs and keeping it from smashing into too many residences.

“At least Spiderman is there. It would have been much… worse….” Tony trailed off, a sudden memory smacking him upside the head. 

“Peter! He lives in Queens, this must have been why he left so quickly- what an idiot, he went straight home to check on his aunt, we have to do something, he’s going to get in the way and get himself killed-” Tony rambled, leaping off the couch and running back into the kitchen, the rest of the group hot on his heels.

“Tony, there’s not much we can-” Bruce started, but Tony cut him off with an irritated hiss.

“We can’t just sit here!” Tony insisted, mind reeling as he tried to remember where he’d left his phone. Steve jumped onto the counter and dropped back down next to Tony, setting it next to his feet. Tony wasted no time in texting Agent, who responded shortly and to the point.

_You aren’t allowed out of the tower right now, let alone near a mess like that. Spiderman has this handled and SHIELD is on standby. 8:53 p.m._

Tony let out an agitated hiss and lashed his tail, trying to think of a way they could get to Queens quickly and without the help of Coulson.

“Tony, I don’t think this is a good idea.” Natasha spoke up, lifting her chin when he spun and glowered. “There’s nothing we can do.”

“We can get Peter and his aunt, and we can get them out of there.” He said, ignoring the way his teammates shot each other doubtful glances. Why didn’t they care?

“If you want to stay here, that’s fine by me. I’m going to help my friend- who is a small helpless teenager, by the way- and keep him from getting killed. I’m going to go and do my goddamned _job._ ” He hissed, snatching up his phone and racing down the hallway towards the elevator. When he entered and spun around his anger dissolved, turning into a determined energy as his teammates trotted in behind him and sat close enough for their fur to brush.

“We’re with you, Tony. Just making sure you realize the stakes.” Bruce meowed, the calmest of them all. 

The elevator let them off on Pepper’s floor, and Tony yowled to get her attention.

“Hello? Tony?” She called, sticking her head out of the kitchen doorway and frowning when she spotted the whole team gathered in the entrance to her apartment. “What is it?”

Tony ran forward and leaped onto the counter, typing a quick message onto his phone and spinning it to face her.

“You want to go to Queens? Tony, I am not taking all of you over to that shitstorm. You aren’t active duty right now! You’re _cats_!” She emphasized, nearly poking Tony right in the chest as she continued. “The Fantastic Four are on standby if things get out of hand. You’re insane if you think I’ll help you get yourself killed.” 

Tony wailed, impatiently pacing back and forth. If he could just _speak_ with her, he could make her see how important this was, how much danger Peter was in.

Pepper heaved a sigh, picking him up and putting him back on the floor. “Go do something constructive, waiting around and worrying yourselves isn’t going to do any good.” She finished, herding them all back to the elevator and sending them down to the communal floor.

“Now what?” Natasha asked, looking back and forth between Steve and Tony.

“I have a plan B.” Tony said, making eye contact with Steve. If he could raise an eyebrow, he looked like he’d have one in his hairline. As it was, his gaze said, _’I know what you’re thinking, and for the record, this is a terrible idea.’_ Tony smirked back. _’I know.’_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for sticking around this long! Please feel free to leave a kudos or comment, they're very encouraging and help me stay motivated! Also, if you saw any typos or mistakes, feel free to let me know. I edit my own stuff and sometimes miss things. Thanks!


	7. A Scolding of Epic Proportions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Coulson isn't happy, like at all

Tony pressed the button for the garage, and the others kept pace with him as he strode towards Mark XV, the front opening as if JARVIS knew exactly that they were trying to do.

“Wait a second. We’re all going to pack ourselves into _that_? Like sardines?” Clint scoffed, ears flat back as he watched Tony jump up onto the terminal and start to type. A few short commands lowered the suit to ground level, and JARVIS maneuvered it to rest on its back.

“Climb in!” Tony said, jumping into the chest cavity and laying on his back, head stuck into the helmet space. The rest of the group was extremely skeptical, but they all managed to fit. Clint and Natasha had decided to jam themselves into the legs, while Bruce, Steve, and Thor took the chest, jamming Tony’s shoulders closer to his head.

A few of the commands Tony had entered before they climbed in were for the flight, planning a route straight to Queens, using autopilot. The entire ride was incredibly uncomfortable- the turbulence and shifting positions made them all push against one another and argue, Thor growling as Tony’s foot smacked into his face, and Steve yelping when Bruce stepped on his tail.

“Thank God.” Tony huffed, watching at the scene of the fight grew closer on the HUD. JARVIS dropped them off near the beginning of Peter’s neighborhood and they all tumbled to the ground- scraped up- but grateful all the same.

“What’s the plan, Iron Man?” Steve asked, shoulder pressed against Tony’s as they surveyed the land in front of them. All of the houses were at least partially torn up, and one or two were just rubble. There was a distant thundering of the mechanical snake tearing up ground as it went, but the road they stood on was eerily silent, without even a breeze to kick up dust.

“Find Peter and his aunt, and extract them.” Tony said, flicking his tail to signal for the group to follow. He lead them down the street to where Peter’s house stood- thankfully- mostly intact. The front portion was partially collapsed in and they all picked their way carefully over the debris towards the kitchen. Tony stopped when he scented blood, fur fluffing out and nose wrinkling at the potency. 

“Hello? Peter?” Tony yowled, leaping across ceiling beams towards the source of the smell. There was a small intake of air from Steve, who bounded forward and started sniffing around a wrinkled hand that was extended from underneath a sheet of drywall. “Oh.” Tony whispered, placing his paw on it and sighing in relief when there was a faint thrumming underneath his foot. 

“She’s alive, thank God. Let’s get her out.” Tony called, squeezing himself underneath the board and gently pushing on it with his back. Peter’s aunt groaned in pain when it shifted, and he paused to call out to the group, who all besides Thor were wedging themselves underneath it around May.

“Wait to push up until everyone is in position- if we shift this the wrong way, we’ll hurt her.” Tony shouted, waiting for the debris to stop settling before he shouted, “Go!”

They all pushed up as hard as they could, collectively wheezing with effort while Thor gently pulled May clear by the back of her shirt. He yowled to tell them they were safe, and the group crawled back out, Steve with his shoulder propping it up until the last cat was clear.

“May?” Tony meowed, rubbing against her shoulder and trying to rouse her. Her forehead creased for a moment before she squinted her eyes open. “May! You have to come with us, SHIELD can get you to the hospital.” He insisted, knowing she couldn’t understand him, but trying to nudge her to her feet anyways. 

“What in the hell-” She muttered, sitting up and blinking owlishly at both the cats and the debris. “Peter’s cat?” May said incredulously as she stroked her hand down Tony’s spine. He murrped happily and sat down as she scratched under his chin.

“Tony, focus.” Bruce said, brushing his tabby fur all over May’s leg and butting his head up in the crook of her knee. Clint joined in and they all managed to get her upright through helpful nudging and meowing. Tony grabbed the hem of her skirt in his teeth and started to walk, leading her out of the rubble and padding alongside the Avengers while they picked their way back to the Iron Man armor.

“Can you guys distract her? I need to use JARVIS to find the nearest SHIELD team. They’re bound to be swarming all over the place.” Tony meowed, already trotting over to the armor and activating the wrist panel. 

“Look at me! Pet me, please!” Steve called, backing up a bit and sitting down while May bent and petted the top of his head. Tony snickered to himself and started typing while she cooed at Steve and asked him a few questions in baby-talk.

“Alright, Agent is en route and very angry. He should be here to yell at us in a few minutes.” Tony said, lifting his head into the air and drawing in a huge breath through his nose. “I have no idea how we’re going to find Peter, but he’s gotta be around here somewhere.” He called, trotting back towards the house they had pulled May from. 

“Clint and I will stay with her.” Natasha called, and Tony lifted his tail gratefully. The rest of them trotted back to the house and started poking around carefully. There were signs of Peter, but nothing recent. He’d obviously been at the house sometime in the morning, but every scent was stale enough that there was no way he’d come this way after noon.

“I am not picking up traces of our young friend. Perhaps he was waylaid by law enforcement before he managed to return?” Thor called. They all converged in the main living space and exchanged helpless glances.

“I still have that bad feeling. It never proved me wrong as a human, and I don’t think it will as a cat either. There’s gotta be _something_.” Tony said, growing desperate and starting to fear the worst. What if Peter had been hurt? What if he was lying in a ditch, or worse? What if he’d been killed?

“I’m starting to panic, right now. I’m panicking.” Tony said this to Steve, whispering in his ear and turning his back to the others. 

“Let’s talk for a second. If you guys could excuse us.” Steve said, laying his tail on Tony’s back and steering them into the kitchen.

“Cap, this is bad. He could be anywhere! He could be hurt, or lost, or lying broken in a ditch where no one will find him until it’s too late and he’s-”

“Tony, take a deep breath. Peter is going to be fine. He’s incredibly smart, and resourceful. He’s not going to put himself right in the path of danger. He’d take back streets, keep tabs on the news, and make sure he could get around without being too near the fighting. Just breathe a bit and we’ll come up with our next game plan.” Steve soothed, gently rolling Tony onto his stomach and lying across his back so he could groom Tony’s ears.

The rhythmic stroking and purring calmed Tony’s racing pulse, and his brain finally clicked back into ‘work’ mode. 

“Okay, I think I’m good. Our goal is still finding Peter, but we’re out of options right now, so we might as well face the wrath of Coulson and see if SHIELD has any leads.” Tony decided, bunting his head to Steve’s as they got up and went back to join the others. Bruce and Thor were sitting in the foyer, looking out the front door at something Steve and Tony couldn’t see.

“What’s going on? Did they get Aunt May?” Tony asked, peeking past Bruce’s shoulder to look. There were several black SUV’s parked precariously in the rubble up what used to be the street. Some agents were leading May into a car and likely back to a nearby medical tent, while Agent was bent down next to the Iron Man armor and talking to the spy twins. 

“Let us rejoin them and hatch a new plan of action.” Thor said, taking off towards the rest of their group and leaving them to scramble after him.

“Why am I not surprised?” Was the first thing Coulson said, slapping down a cell phone in front of Tony and Steve rather angrily. “Explain to me, in detail, _exactly_ why you two thought it was an amazing idea to drag the entire team- the off-duty team, if I remember correctly- down into a clusterfuck of this magnitude, just to go looking for one person. A person SHIELD has tabs on, by the way. A person who is completely fine and actually being rounded up as we speak. Can you explain this to me?” Coulson hissed, a sour smile twisting his lips. His eyes, on the other hand, contrasted nicely by quietly screaming ‘murder’. All of them were taken aback by his anger.

“I can’t handle it when he says shit like that with a smile on his face. It fucking freaks me out.” Tony grumbled, pulling the phone towards him and trying to type some shred of an explanation that left his ego somewhat intact. Shame burned on his nose, but he still felt the need to defend them somewhat. Or at least defend everyone else, since it was really just Tony who convinced them all to go with him. 

_How was I supposed to know that you knew where Peter was at? Your earlier correspondence left much to be desired in the way of a real answer. I was just trying to do my job._ Tony wrote, shoving it back at Agent and holding his head up high while a vein started to stand out on their handler’s temple. 

“Your job.” Coulson started, taking a deep breath in his nose and slowly letting it out through his teeth before he went on. “Your job, right now, is to sit there in your little tower and do. Nothing. Why? Because all. Of. You. Are compromised. And why is that?” Coulson continued, picking Tony up by his scruff and looking at him at eye level. “Because of you. You’re not allowed to do your job right now, because you fucked up, Tony Stark. You fucked up during Loki’s attack, and you just fucked up again today.” He bit out, waiting for it to sink in. Tony’s ears were flat back and he thought he might curl up and die of shame right then and there. 

“You put your entire team in actual danger today. When you’re a group of superhuman crime fighters, you’re allowed a little leeway when it comes to reasonable risk. This? Completely unreasonable, and completely unnecessary.” Natasha and Bruce made protesting noises, but were hushed by a scathing glare.

“I let the rest of the team come with Hill and I when we were looking for Tony, because being equipped and having supervision are perfectly acceptable safeguards for leaving the tower under a normal circumstance which involves minimal danger. This situation is much different. You disobeyed a direct order, for starters. Then you left with barely any equipment. And no- the suit hardly counts at all, you’re unable to use it. Forget the supervision part entirely. You came completely alone! Nobody knew where you were, and nobody would have known until too late if something happened.” Coulson seemed to run out of steam at that point, because he set Tony back down and scrubbed his hands over his face. His whole body deflated a bit and he sighed.

“You’re all on house arrest, officially. It’s going in the files and I’ll have agents posted around the tower to keep me updated. If this _ever_ happens again, you’re being put on temporary leave when things are put back to normal. All your behavior today was completely out of line.” Coulson finished, standing up and leaving them all there in stunned silence.

“That was awful.” Natasha said, getting up and slinking in Coulson’s shadow as he motioned for them to get into one of the vans. Clint trotted after her with his ears back and the rest of them filed past, Tony hopping in last and wedging himself underneath one of the seats. He didn’t want to talk to any of them after that. He wasn’t even sure if they’d want to either, since everything Coulson had said was right.

It was pretty much Tony’s fault, what had happened. He’d pissed Loki off, made the spell rebound, and dragged everyone out of the tower to go chasing after some teenager the rest of them barely knew. What was he thinking? That they could ‘save the day’? Granted, they found May, but all of those houses had people in them, and SHIELD was never too far behind with search and rescue. She likely would have been fine- just a few scratches and a minor concussion. 

Tony really needed to get his shit together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took me a while to update! I'm still trying though, and I'm going to finish this if it's the last thing I do!
> 
> That was kinda dramatic but basically I haven't given up and I'm still going strong. Please leave a kudos or a comment if you enjoyed! I really really love feedback and I respond to all the comments I get, whether you have a question or are just sending kind words. Thanks for sticking around!


	8. The Truth Comes Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if this is a bit short ~~and really late~~ I'm super bad at this fanfiction thing. If you couldn't tell, lol. Let me know what you think in the comments below!

The rest of the night was mostly Tony holing up in his lab while the rest of the team went to sleep on their respective floors. Steve tried to stay, but he knew how Tony got, and that sometimes his issues needed to be worked out alone. After the third failed time he tried to get Tony to talk he gave up. He rubbed their cheeks together and murmured, _’I’ll be upstairs when you’re ready for bed.’_ , and away he went.

Tony sighed, flopping dramatically on his workbench. He _always_ screwed up, no matter what he tried to do. Steve was probably going to get sick of him soon with how things were going. Coulson was angry with him, and the spy twins probably still weren’t thrilled about being dragged across town against their handler’s orders. 

His internal pity-party was interrupted by the elevator doors opening to deposit their resident teenager, who walked nervously up to Tony, wringing his hands a bit. His mouth opened to speak just as Tony scrambled to his feet and jumped right into the kid’s chest.

“Oof!” Peter had the breath knocked out of him and he stumbled back in surprise, hands automatically coming up to keep Tony from falling as the cat rubbed his face all over Peter’s chin.

“You’re so dumb, don’t ever do that again or I’m going to have a heart attack, jesus christ-” Tony babbled, settling himself on Peter’s shoulder and purring like a motorboat.

“I have no idea what you just said or why you’re so excited, but I uh, I wanted to say thanks. For ya’know, helping out Aunt May, and stuff. I-I was really worried.” Peter stuttered, lifting Tony off his shoulder and re-positioning him so they could see each other face-to-face. From his new angle Tony could clearly see the left side of Peter’s face had taken a beating- he was bruised from temple to chin, and his bottom lip was cut. He’d also obviously been to medical if the butterfly bandages on his face were anything to go by.

“What in the _hell_ happened to you!” Tony yowled, batting Peter gently on the unmarred side of his face. The teen winced and at least had the sense to look a bit sheepish.

“Jesus, if you’re mad about the- yea, I uh, I mean- I was trying to get back to my house, ‘cause, you know- and I didn’t get that far. And, uh, I was held up, by all the fighting, and what not. It’s not as bad as it looks.” Peter added, setting him back down on the workbench and shrugging.

Tony slid his phone over to them and started typing. He had _words_ for this irresponsible and reckless young kid. Many, _many_ words. Peter worried at the hem of his shirt and shuffled his feet as he waited, movements increasing in anxiety until he looked like he was sweating.

_What you did was incredibly reckless and highly irresponsible. And that’s coming from me, Tony Stark, leading figurehead in both of those things._

Peter winced when he finished reading and ran his fingers through his hair. 

“I know, I’m sorry. I won’t do it again.” The teen turned on his puppy eyes and dialed them up to full blast. Tony was done for.

_You’d better not._

Tony typed out, leaving it at that. Peter quickly changed the subject and started wandering around the lab, letting Tony sit on his shoulder again to supervise. JARVIS- ever helpful- chimed in and described the projects as they walked by, but the end goal seemed to be the wall-length row of Iron Man suit displays. They spent a few moments at each one, until Peter came to a stop in front of the Mark VIII. It stood out from the rest of the collection because of all the damage it had obviously sustained. The faceplate was gone and the body was dinged, scratched, and dented all to hell. 

“What happened to this one?” Peter asked, leaning closer to the glass until his nose was almost touching it. 

Tony’s throat tight and he sent up a silent thank you when JARVIS jumped in to answer so that he wouldn’t have to.

“This is the Mark VIII, which sustained heavy damage during the Battle for New York. Mr. Stark decided not to perform repairs.”

Peter’s brow creased, and he glanced sideways at Tony on his shoulder.

“Why not?”

Instead of replying himself, JARVIS played the audio of Tony making the decision.

_”Would you like to begin repairs of the Mark VIII, sir?”_

_“Actually J, I think we’re going to skip it.”_

_“Oh? And why is that?”_

_“We’ll put him up near the rest. A reminder of sorts.”_

_“A reminder for what, may I ask?”_

_“For me. To remember how fragile life is, and how much still needs to be done to keep us safe. A reminder to always make the sacrifice play- no matter the cost.”_

Tony felt embarrassed listening to it back, but Peter’s eyes were all doe-y and awed when the clip ended. 

“Alright! We’re done with that. Let’s get some sleep, and in the morning we'll go meet up with the others and try talking to the batshit-insane gods in the basement.” Tony said, leading the way to the elevator as Peter hurried along behind him.

***

“What makes you think I’m going to tell you anything?” Loki hissed, leaving his back to them and hunching in on himself. Shield had fabricated a miniature version of the Hulk-Buster about the size of a dog kennel, and gave one to each of their ‘guests’. Neither were pleased.

“Dude, _you’re_ the one who came crawling to _us_ when things didn’t go your way. What was the point of that if you’re not even going to tell us what’s going on?” Tony scoffed and earned himself a harsh nudge from Thor. Clint snickered from the back and Tony would have challenged him to fisticuffs if the situation weren't supposed to be serious.

“Brother, we’re just here to help. We need you to explain your situation to us before we can do that.” Thor rumbled, as calm as ever. Loki’s ears flicked and he sighed rather dramatically.

“I concede your point.” His words were grated out through clenched teeth as he turned to face them.

“Who attacked you?” Steve started, and Loki’s tail swished back and forth. 

“Her name is Angerboda, and I am trying to save her.” Loki didn’t meet any of their eyes, even as Thor gasped.

“What, you know her?” Natasha murmured. All eyes besides Loki’s settled on Thor.

“She is Loki’s… mate. I would refer to her as his ‘wife’, but that term does not quite fit the relationship they have.” The Avengers all looked at each other in alarm. Loki had a _lover_?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for sticking around! Feel free to comment and kudos if you're enjoying it!

**Author's Note:**

> Please, if you have time, send me some feedback! I would really love some constructive criticism, or your opinion. Even if you just spotted a typo, feel free to let me know! And I hope you liked it (as bad as I think it is).


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